Merry Christmas! Wishing you all a better 2017!

Merry Christmas! May the New Year be filled with, health and happiness, love and light.

I thought today would be a fitting day for an update, not only because it is Christmas, it is another milestone. 10 months ago today we sat down with my oncologist and let him know that I wasn't going to accept my diagnosis of Stage IV cancer as a death sentence. I wasn't ready to accept "one year, maybe two" and there would be no more talk of working towards "quality of life" rather than "cure". We let him know that if there was anyone on my care team that didn't think I could make it, they needed to get off of my team asap. My doctor said, "that's what I want to hear, I can work with this".
They threw to works at me, and despite some pretty unpleasant side effects I have come through. An allergic reaction to one of my chemo meeds caused a full anaphylactic episode in November. My most recent surgery, (and hopefully last surgery) was this past Tuesday, thankfully I was released in time to be home for Christmas Eve. The doctors said everything "looks good".
In addition to today's milestone, I want to share the good news, the doctors say I am in "complete remission" This is the best Christmas gift I could ever receive, and the goal of that conversation with by doctor 10 months ago. Believe me, I know how lucky I am.

It has been a difficult year. A year of loss....not just my health, my independence, my job, my dance career, my connection to friends, but a year of my life I can never get back. Bill put his career development on hold for a year to take care of me, and his parents held down the fort at the agency despite dreams of retirement. I don't have words to express my gratitude for their sacrifice or their support. While I had to make adjustments, I figured they were part of life's ups and downs - the in sickness and in health you never think is going to happen to you until you are "old". By far, the hardest losses were of my friends Megan Martin and Louise Bestow to cancer. This year has kind of ruined everything. It has ruined all I have worked for. 2016 has been a dumpster fire. I sincerely wish everyone a better 2017.

Despite my diagnosis, I was never angry, perhaps frustrated, or sad, but not bitter. I know I have wondered "why me?" as my cancer was not genetic in nature, and I have tried to be responsible with my health and well being. But I have vowed to keep the bitterness from my heart. Perhaps I got cancer so someone else wouldn't have to. I hope i have been a reminder to get checked out, and if a test is inconclusive, keep searching until you get answers before it is too late (and for goodness sake, buy health insurance). Perhaps it was because cancer does not discriminate, it is an equal-opportunity illness and my number just came up. Perhaps it is because there is no reason. I know looking back, keeping a positive outlook, setting goals, enjoying the little things, greeting each day with wonder and amazement of the gift that was before me has been invaluable. Knowing I had family and friends both near and far who were in my corner fighting for me, with me has been priceless.

I have to give a lot of credit to my loving husband, Bill who has been part nurse, part advocate, part guard dog. Always by my side, making my healthy protein shakes every day, making sure I took my meds, managing my care, getting me to my appointments, taking notes and asking questions of the care team, keeping people with colds at a distance, sharing my burden when my hands were full… as I've said before, I don't know where I'd be without him.
But there are so many to whom I give credit for my current success. My sincere gratitude to all of you for your well-wishes, kind thoughts, positive energy, good vibes, prayers, messages, letters, cards, gifts, FB greetings, your visits, support, financial contributions, to friends providing music therapy, massage therapy, aromatherapy, reflexology, acupuncture and healing touch, all the musicians who played at my benefit concert, the Southside Aces for the CD "She's with the Band' those who helped organize it and the owner's of Lee's Liquor Lounge for letting us hold it there. You helped get me through some pretty tough times and brighten some pretty dark days. your support helped see me through and I am eternally grateful.

May the magic of the season find you. I wrote this inspired by "A Visit from St. Nicholas" and a lifetime of magical Christmas Eves with my family. Anyone who has seen my parents epic Christmas tree will know what I mean. (Perhaps one day I'll finish it properly to do justice to the wonderful memories i hold in my heart). One of he biggest goals I was working towards….another Christmas with the whole family.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the home
The McGuires were celebrating, not one on their phone.
The family was gathered 'round the tree with care
The joys of the season they wanted to share
Nieces and nephews were snuggled on the couch, and the floor
Treats in their bellies, yet they wanted "just one more?"
Enjoying being together yet another year by the fire
And such are the memories of Christmas chez McGuire

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

P.S. With the good news I won't be posting as much, perhaps just an update or two after my quarterly tests and check-up. Again, thank you all for tuning in and keeping in touch.