Your Daily Brain Tumor Humor: 20 Reasons Tumors are Preferable to Babies

It's been a good week. I've had a bit more energy each day and I've learned to conserve my energy for things I have to or want to do like graduation this weekend, for example. Last night we hosted about half of the students who went with me to Norway last summer. So much fun to see everyone and hear all of the back stories of things that went on. Jason said they used good judgement in not telling me what was really happening at the time because it would have stressed me out. Like your own kids telling you what they did as teenagers long after the fact, it was quite entertaining to hear since I knew they were all safely back in the U.S. Hopefully we will be able to have another reunion in about 10 years! Love that group!

As we approach the weekend and anticipate our return to Houston and check up on Monday, we've been becoming increasingly stressed. We try to not think about it because anxiety changes nothing about the outcome, but that's easier said than done. Therefore, I thought I'd post something funny to get us all through to Monday.

Today’s topic? Why having a brain tumor removed is better than having a baby:
1. It’s mandatory that you get more sleep instead of less sleep.
2. Your body doesn’t start producing milk.
3. A brain tumor doesn’t start screaming at you the second it comes out.
4. You get to be anesthetized for the entire procedure.
5. People take care of you instead of you being responsible for a helpless being.
6. You can take a shower every day.
7. You leave the brain tumor at the hospital, it doesn’t come home with you and take over your life.
8. Brain tumors don’t poop, puke, or pee on you.
9. You tend to lose a little weight after a tumor rather than gain 60 lbs.
10. You go on a mandatory workout regimen and diet after a tumor instead of hoping nursing will take off the baby weight.
11. Tumors don’t typically co-sleep with you and your spouse.
12. No one ignores you in favor of holding and seeing a tumor. You get 100% of the attention!
13. Brain tumors are supposed to be ugly so there’s no question of “Is it cute or hideous?”
14. You don’t have to make any decisions about circumcision, epidural, vaccines, rooming in, etc.
15. There’s no need to buy out Babies R Us.
16. There’s no competing guilt between career choices and choices to stay home longer.
17. After tumor resection they give you better drugs than after baby resection.
18. Hatching a brain tumor makes you feel like Zeus, while pushing out a baby makes you feel like crap.
19. You are told exactly how the procedure will go before going in for tumor removal. Otherwise you are dealing with 30 hours of labor, possible c-section, and possible ineffective epidural due to drunk anesthesiologist.
20. In brain surgery you usually get your actual doctor and not the resident on call.