The Chemo Begins!

When it was time to leave Houston, Kimmie was in town to visit her dad and the following day we drove to Austin to see our favorite girls that make up the rest of the Insane Clown Posse, as Jason so affectionately refers to us. When we packed up the trunk of the car with suitcases, a small empty area remained that was just my size. I climbed into the trunk to see if I'd fit and I did fit in the spot perfectly. Kim took a picture and sent it out in a group text to let everyone know that she was making me ride in the trunk (of course, in the photo I was flipping her off because that's just how I roll. Along the route, the Texas wildflowers were beautiful. For those who do not know, Lady Bird Johnson raised money for and implemented a program to plant bluebonnets and other wildflowers along the Texas highways when Lyndon served as governor. This is the perfect time of year to see them. When we got to our Austin hotel I got back in the trunk and laid down as if I were asleep and another photo was sent out about how I had been screaming in the trunk for the entire trip. As I write this I'm starting to wonder if these shenanigans are the reason Jason refers to us as he does (i.e., ICP). Eh, probably not.

We only had a few days to spend together but definitely worth the trip. There was more wildflower admiration, some good food, a shopping trip, and a meeting. On Sunday, when it was time to leave, both Kim and I (even though we were on different airlines) had canceled and delayed flights, respectively. Apparently weather issues the day prior had backed up everything for a couple of days. Luckily, we did manage to get home- me to Lubbock and Kim to Pittsburgh. 

On Monday and Tuesday I was able to spend time with my boys, get some work done, and set a routine. On Wednesday I had to stay home to await delivery of my new targeted therapy chemo. Wouldn't you know it, FedEx came when I was apparently doing something and I missed the doorbell. The delivery was redirected to a pharmacy about a mile from the house. Not one to be deterred, I walked to the pharmacy to pick it up, then walked a mile to the UPS store to mail a couple of things, then to another pharmacy near there to get some special chocolate for my diet restrictions, then home. In all, I got about three miles in. Not as well as I usually am able to do in Houston, however, Lubbock drivers scare me a bit more than Houston drivers when it comes to being a pedestrian. I began the chemo that evening. The schedule is as follows. One drug is 4 pills in the AM and 4 pills in the PM. The other is 3 pills in the PM. That's 11 chemo pills per day. Add that number to the other necessary pills for seizure risk, depression risk, and immune system risk, and that's a hell of a lot of pills. I'm still feeling it all out but so far so good. I've had two short bouts of nausea that went away very quickly. I do have a nausea pill to take as needed but I don't feel that I've really needed it so far. Overall, things are going better with this chemo than previous types have, but I'm still feeling this out so that I know how they work with other pills,on  a(n) full/empty stomach, how they affect my glucose readings, and just how my body reacts in general. Like I said, things seem to be going alright so far.

I go back to Houston at the end of the month for an appointment with the dermatologist so that they can watch for skin rashes and lesions, a known side effect of this treatment. Jason says he wants to take pictures of my skin so that it will be easier for us to compare over time. I'm wondering if that idea is just a ruse to sell my naked photos online. I can imagine how much he could make on that since I'm so fabulous, but given that I'm a professor, it could be risky. Do we trust him? The week following the dermatology appointment, I see the oncologist for a general checkup. In the meantime, I've been playing the waiting game (as usual). I'm filling up the time by going to work as much as possible, seeing friends, exercising, and practicing mindfulness in all that I do each day. I'm just so grateful for each day that I wake up and have the opportunity to make a choice about what I will do today. Sure, there are some things that I must do, but I love the independence that comes with the realization that I can do those things on my own timetable. Yes, I get tired. Yes, I get overwhelmed. Yes, I get frustrated. However, at the end of the day, my goal is always to be able to look back on this day and declare that I lived it as fully as possible. Even if that means I've spent part of it in a trunk. I still cannot figure out why I never lived this way before and how stubborn I must be that it took brain cancer to learn this. If you can implement mindfulness and gratefulness into your life without having to have a major crisis, you should do that ASAP. Trust me, you don't want it to play out quite the way it has for me. Just a bit of unsolicited advice. Also, don't take road trips in a trunk. It's dark and loud and there are fumes. Overall, a very bad idea!