Day 7 - NORMALCY
A note from Dad...
I'm now a seasoned father of three, and to add to that challenge, I'm a father of three BOYS. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done, but, I would never go back to life without them.
It's really painful to see him laying in that bed, hooked up to a machine making sounds that I have quickly learned to hate. I can feel my heart rate go up every time I hear one of the "bad" sounds. Being at the hospital in the PICU room keeps your heart and stomach in a constant state of knots.
I've really been missing my boys at home. We have been gone a week now which feels like an eternity. My wife hasn't been able to go home at all because she needs to be around to provide milk for his feeding tube. Since the hospital won't allow kids in because of flu season, she hasn't been able to see our older boys at all. Our oldest has had a temperature so I'm hoping it goes away tomorrow so she can have a chance to visit with them too. I've been feeling desperate for some kind of normalcy because we had no idea we were going to be here, away from our life, away from our boys.
My boys LOVE superheroes. They especially love Spiderman , Superman, and Iron man. If you haven't noticed, most superheroes wear RED because the color red means strength and power. We call Redden "Red" sometimes as a nickname. Our baby is strong and a fighter. We didn't have a clue what was going on inside his little body and he hardly EVER cried.
I went home for a surprise visit last night and brought home little capes for them as a gift from Redden. I can tell they really miss us and it's hard not to feel guilt and give them anything they want right now. I've always routinely wrestled with the boys and we had it out last night! It was so good to hear their giggles instead of those damn beeps that plague my brain. I'm praying to stay strong for them and keep it together, but it's hard. I need to be a superhero for them.
The mundane things I usually look forward to "getting over with" every night like walking the dog, doing bath time, and changing diapers, suddenly gave me a sense of comfort. My mom offered to do it all, but I wouldn't let her. Finally, some NORMALCY.
Comments (6)
Be easy on yourself, Brian. You don't need to be a superhero... you can be human. Your boys will love you all the same. And important lessons come from our children seeing both our strengths AND our weaknesses. Hang in there.
We prayed for you all at our church in Westminster, SC Thursday night. Our Heavenly Father knows what it's like to see HIS SON suffer, and wishing it could be oh so different. GOD will see you thru it all.
I'm not sure you NEED to be a super hero for your boys but I'll happily bet that you ARE one! I'll donate twice. One for Redden and the medical things needed. The other to buy you a red cape. Be strong and as Heather says don't worry about showing your weaknesses, we all have them, even Superman did. Keep going guys :)
My heart goeswith people who suffer from cancer. I am praying for yal form Argentina. You don't know me and I don't know you but I am sure we're brothers ans sisters in Christ and that's enough. Keep these verses in mind: 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." Philippians 4:13 "13 I can do all this through him [Christ] who gives me strength."
Bri, I felt every moment of that post. Praying for more normalcy for you all. You are in our prayers and constantly in our thoughts. And we are wearing a lot more red these days.
All I can say is that we are praying for you, Beri and Redden every free moment. Positive energy and love are coming Redden's way many times over. We continue to send our love...