Filled With Gratitude
Dear Friends -
Phyllis’s condition continues to deteriorate; she is now very, very frail. Gone is the body that carried her through 18 marathons and umpteen 5 and 10Ks. But, in typical Phyllis fashion, she continues to listen and tries to engage with those around her.
As a family, we have been beside her bed sharing and retelling stories. Many start with “do you remember when…” So, for example, “Do you remember when the car died on the on ramp to the Lincoln Tunnel?” or “Do you remember the Easter egg hunt at the Greenbrier?” or “Do you remember when Mom forgot her (insert any item here) at (insert any location here)?” We see the change in Phyllis’s appearance and feel her energy lift as our banter, laughter and often our tears reach her.
We take these times of utmost alertness to read your posts aloud. Phyllis’s eyes fix on the reader and she seems captivated by each and every word you’ve written and photo you’ve posted. While no longer able to articulate her thoughts, we can see her expression soften and the smile in her eyes as she absorbs it all.
These moments - now fewer and further between - are a blessing. We are able to witness the physical and emotional impact your words have on her. It buoys all of our spirits and helps lighten our load.
Please feel free to forward this site’s details to anyone you feel may be interested. Phyllis will love hearing from them.
Kindly continue to keep our family in your thoughts and prayers.
Sy, Michael, Deborah and Sarah
Comments (13)
What a gift to be together as a family at this hour. Being able to share as you are - and invite us in to share with you - is testament that you will ALWAYS be together as a family. There is no better honor for a Wife and Mother. Peace and light to you all. And deepest condolences to everyone whose heart is heavy.
Thinking of you and all the “running” you did- running for exercise and running for Mayor! Love , Carol and Herb Horowitz
Phyllis you are often in my thoughts. We met when our children we all in Princeton Montessori School...%0+ years ago. I have often marveled at your strength, endurance and commitment to the community and to your family. Please accept my sincere wish for you to finally rest peacefully . My thought ware with all of your loved ones..they have so many wonderful memories of your truly incredible life. Fondly, Karen Schotland
Sy, Deborah, Michael and Sarah- Thank you for updating me on what’s going on with your amazing wife and mom’s condition. I am thinking of all of you and sending love and good wishes to you all and Phyllis. I think often of how much she meant to my mom and love all the Christmas Eve memories our families shared! So glad we got to live together on the peninsula briefly, Deborah, so we could bring the love into our generation. Take care of each other and Phyllis. Much love and care to all of you! Julie Caskey
Back in 2004 Phyllis hired me to work for Princeton Township. I was immediately impressed with her leadership style and her ability to mentor the team.she had put together, it was instant respect I had for her. I still consider it the start of my career even though already had 20 years of experience. The following summer I had hired a young student for a summer job and his job was to clean out the file closet in the "old building" across the street. Every day he would go over and go through the files and archive what was necessary, and then update me on his progress. One day he reports that he had a very nice conversation with Phyllis; that he has struck up a friendship with Phyllis and that they are "buddies". I was concerned that this young man was being a bit too casual, and really didn't want him to refer to the Mayor by her first name, etc. (I also wasn't quite sure why he would have run into the Mayor at the old building with the dusty old files, but she was so accessible that it was entirely possible). So I said to the young man, "please show the proper respect, and refer to Phyllis as the Mayor." He looked confused and said, "Oh Phyllis isn't the Mayor....Phyllis is a mouse that greets me every day in the old building. I named her Phyllis." I still chuckle about that! That young man continued to work for the Township many years after that, and was lucky to get to know Mayor Phyllis better than his mouse friend. I too feel blessed to have worked under Phyllis' leadership, her style is one of a kind. I will continue to keep her and the entire family in my prayers. Thank you for updating us, and thank you for sharing her with us all for so many years! Sincerely, Kathy
Dear Phyllis, you & Sy were always a part of our life for all the celebrations and the sadness also. How do I say thank you for your friendship & kindness. Sincerely, Adele & the boys.
Stew and Norma Smith Dear Phyllis, We have always been inspired by your energy, enthusiasm and devotion to community service; you have set such a high bar for all of us! We think of your marathons, being mayor, helping Arthur Link, volunteering on the ethics committee for animal research at Princeton, and countless other wonderful things. We know you will always be remembered for performing the wedding of Atle and Betty Selberg at the Institute (I have a picture somewhere) and for the wedding at Conte's Pizza of Bruce and Patti Nystrom (more pictures there). You certainly have lived up to the saying "Bloom where you are planted" and we all love you for the example you have set and are thinking of you and your family at this time.
Joy Reynolds They say we're known by the friends we keep, and you've kept all these noble people by your side forever! My memory is of you speaking on Memorial Day/ or was it Bicentennial Fourth of July? On Cannon Green on the Princeton Campus, you wore a dress either made of or fashioned as an American flag. Spence and I were moved to tears by your words, and I sent you a quick note of thanks. Of course, YOU sent a return note thanking ME -- pure Phyllis. God Speed, Phyllis
Dear Sy (and I regret that I haven't met Michael, Deborah, and Sarah), I was touched that I received this post just now via Judy Scheide and while devastated, I simply want to say what a delight it has been over the last several years to spend time with you and Phyllis. I have not been in Princeton long enough to retell war stories, but every time we were together, Phyllis has been a breath of fresh air, a bundle of energy, a wise sage and friend on so many issues, and just someone to whom I feel very close. My heart goes out to you and the whole family, and I will be thinking of you this weekend. Warmly, Brian
Dear Sy, Michael, Deborah, and Sarah, I met Phyllis 5 years ago when I joined the Princeton University IACUC. She welcomed me immediately and told me how passionate she was to be one of our community members. Over the time I have worked with Phyllis, we developed such a special relationship. We would catch up on how we spent the most recent Jewish holiday or she would tell me about her grandchildren. She was so incredibly proud of her family. She was so passionate about everything she did and put her heart into supporting our committee. Through all of her hospital stays and treatments she always had the most beautiful outlook on life and managed to remain so positive. She was an inspiration to full-time working moms and believed that there was always room at the table for women to contribute and be seen. I will miss every single thing about her. Her memory will forever be a blessing to everyone that loved her. My sincerest thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Warm regards, Sheera Gaskin
Phyllis, when I was a teenager—and recent post teenager—I didn’t really think of my friends’ moms anything other than just Moms. In my mind, that was the container that they lived in. But you could never be contained. From the time I met and then became strangely codependent with Sarah, there were always Phyllis updates with news about your achievements, your marathons, what you did, and what you were going to do. When I would go out with Sarah, people always came up to ask her about you (or tell her about you). And sometimes, maybe, they would ask who I was. One night, when I was probably 20, I came over with Sarah and started talking to you in your kitchen. You didn’t ask any of the perfunctory questions parents usually asked. You wanted to talk about politics. The mayor of my town, someone who everybody knows and listens to, was interested in having a real conversation about real issues with me. You didn’t make me feel like “Sarah’s friend”. You made me feel important. And every time I’ve seen you, you’ve left the same impression. It’s a special kind of charisma. I guess I could sum this all up by saying that to me you have always been a celebrity. And every time I’ve seen you, I’ve felt like I was stepping into the light of your star.
My dear Phyllis. Where to begin. I think my first memory of you was in that wonderfully wild and patriotic dress when you marched in the Memorial Day parade in Princeton. You had such a big smile on your face and time to talk to everyone. I had the honor and privilege of getting to know you better when you supported me through my own run for Mayor. I could not have had a better mentor. You have always been such an inspiration of hope, perseverance, positivity and grace in how you lived and how you have bravely battled your illness. Throughout our friendship, you have given so much to me and my family. I will never forget you coming up with proclamations to celebrate my children and your visits to my mother at Merwick, always with a Panera chocolate croissant in hand. Whether we were just sitting and enjoying a meal or an event, or talking politics, I always thoroughly enjoyed your company. Lunch at Frank’s will never to be same without you, but we will always have many Phyllis stories to tell. You will be forever in my heart. I wish you peace as you take on the next marathon. All our love. Jill, Fernando, Fernando and Isabel.
Dear Phyllis, I will miss you at our birthday dinners, our Viva La Friends dinners, our Marathon brunches, so many social and political gatherings, our impromptu coffees, our PCDO meetings, and our fun lunches. Thank you for being you and being such a shining example of a super star in everything you did. You are and will continue to be a shining example of living life to the fullest. Thank you. Much love to your family.