CA travelogue

The trip to California went very well. It was short (sorry to my Bay Area friends & colleagues to not even try to see you!) but very sweet.  The Bar & Bat Mitzvah service was at Kehilla Community Synagogue, a wonderful Berkeley/Oakland Jewish Renewal congregation. My niece and nephew, Kaja and Tavi, did brilliantly, and I cried through most of the service, in part due to their talented, coordinated, heartfelt, and at times comic Torah readings and speeches, and in part because their biological mother, Kerstin, died of pancreatic cancer just after they turned 6. This was one of the first occasions since then that all of us who cared for her and the kids during her illness were together again, and it was the 7th anniversary of her funeral. She was there in spirit in so many ways (and, disconcertingly, there was a member of the congregation who looked remarkably like her from behind and the side – causing many of us to do shocked double-takes, and whisper amongst ourselves about it). Most of Kerstin’s family, which is a complex one with multiple sets of step- and half-siblings, were there to celebrate (and many were also mourning the recent & sudden death of Kerstin’s stepfather, Tom). The twins’ wonderful adoptive mother, Margot, has been in their lives since (I think) 2010, and her lovely extended family were all there as well. While I missed having Don and Sam and Sarah there, having Anita with me was a big treat. We talked non-stop the whole way there and the whole way back, and in between every event, and made the most of the opportunity for her to get to know my family better. She’s very good at connecting with people, and I loved getting to hear her perspective on some of the people she talked with. I felt pretty well most of the time, and even totally “normal” some of the time. I had great conversations with a lot of people -- something about having cancer really helped us make the most of the short opportunities to connect amidst the hubbub of large gatherings. We shared memories about our own B'nei Mitzvah experiences, which led to other storytelling...  It was also great to be with family on my birthday, and they surprised me with a chocolate mousse cake, singing, and presents in the middle of the Sunday morning post-B’nei Mitzvah brunch. Later that day we went to Palo Alto where my sister and my other niece and nephew live, and I finally got to meet their new dog, Lily!