Laura’s 9am update

Back in Jax trying to return to normal life, whatever that is after you’ve lost the person whose daily phone call you wanted to pick up. As with all grief, it comes out of nowhere, but for me the most likely culprit is through music. Liza’s friends created a playlist of her favorite music that I listened to repeatedly in the hospital. I can’t help but cry because when a song plays on the radio, I’m reminded of the hope for Liza’s recovery that I had during those weeks… the hope that suddenly changed to nope.

But I’m not full of sadness for Liza, nor was I ever. Liza undoubtedly made the impact she needed to here and is as busy as ever reuniting with the realm that succeeds this one. It’s myself and her “others” that I feel sadness for: those of us who won’t create future memories of places and events with her smile and laughter tangibly beside us. 

I fear that others have processed most of their grieving and unlike me, for whom Liza will remain at my mind’s forefront for an eternity, they are ready to talk about other things. For me, I want to know that her spirit looms large in everything fun, challenging, and beautiful. I so appreciate the messages from her friends and mine that something made them think of Liza or they did something outside of their comfort zone because they know Liza would have encouraged them to do so.

I was in a very low point at Costco the other day and a young Mexican girl passed me with her family. I thought of Liza and our time in MX and how I need to LiveLikeLiza and learn better Spanish. As tears welled up in my eyes, my friend appeared with nothing but a box of mangos. I knew that the Liza I’d been missing for days was reaching out her sweet hand to me. Of all the many items that my friend could have picked, she had chosen mangos. When we lived in Mexico, Liza taught me to love them and how to cut them and we laughed at how they literally fell off the trees and into the streets.

My hope now is for more unexpected mangos and other signs that assure me that she is still with me/us and celebrating our humanness. If you haven’t seen the details, Liza’s Big Energy Celebration is Saturday June 3 at Taylor Ranch in Fairview (outside Asheville) from 3-7. It’s sure to be a good time!  🎶 🥭 💛🌈