1 Year Ago...

1 year ago, on his 46th birthday, Eric underwent his first neurosurgery and was diagnosed with a glioblastoma multiform. 1 year! It feels a little strange to be acknowledging this milestone. So instead, our family is focused on celebrating Eric's birthday today and reflecting on the year. 

There is no way that we could easily summarize how we are feeling. Instead, we each wanted to share our thoughts. We apologize for the long post, but we Sullivans have a lot to say. First up mom and dad...

Our littlest grand kiddos have a special prayer they say at mealtimes.  They hold hands and together say "We are thankful for family, friends, and food."
This past year these few words have become our mantra.  We repeat them often!
Thankful that Eric is a fighter and that he has a capable, caring team of professionals helping him do battle.
Thankful for our wonderful J who has been with Eric EVERY step of the journey.
Thankful for all our family (both immediate and extended) who, even tho' scattered from coast to coast and internationally, have manned the phones, helped with the research, traveled long distances to assist Eric and J, stayed in touch, and just listened. Thankful that all our kids have rallied around Eric and J, and around each other.

Thankful for friends, and complete strangers who are now friends, who willingly jumped in to help with house and dog care; for new friends who opened their homes to us in Helena and Salt Lake City; to those who wear Sullivan Strong shirts and bracelets and those who send words of support and healing out into the universe.

And food!!  Helena friends, faculty, and students saw to it that Eric and J, as well as Clara and Dennis, never missed a meal.  And La Crosse friends always seemed to know right when soup and cookies were really needed.
We are thankful --- we will continue to hold hands ---Go Eric!

Next up...Doug...

1 year… 365 days… has gone so agonizingly slow, and simultaneously too damn quick.  And during that time, there’s only been this: phone calls and text messages and duo videos and emails and fearful tears and happy tears and angry tears and… just tears. And there’s also been smiles… smiles in hospital beds and smiles walking out of hospitals (with maybe a middle finger raised too) and smiles on jeep rides and smiles on 10,000-foot peaks and smiles on dusty trails and smiles in the snow and with dogs and smiles with family and with friends and smiles with J and smiles with … everyone.  And there’s been weird stuff like sticky buns and emus (with laser beams) and Kevin and a snake and donkeys and wire masks and lobsters and wombats (they poop cubes… who knew?!?) and plane rides and Benadryl dreams and leg bones (“oh Trashy”) and a caterpillar … and other, even weirder stuff too. And there have been visits … in Salt Lake and in Helena and in Boseman and in Hawaii and in hospitals and hot springs (“that’s a lot of Sullivans in a tub”) and on mountain tops and even in a Carroll College classroom (Pi, the answer is always Pi!).   And there’s been laughs and there have been hugs and there have been serious discussions and there’s been ‘WTF are we even talking about’ moments and there’s been hope and there’s been despair and there’s been worry and there’s been anger…

but then there’s also been, love.  So much love.

So

Much

Love!!!

(and brisket)

Oh yes… and there’s been this one other thing too;  there’s been movement… oh so much movement… because:

There’s this guy we all know who always says: “movement is medicine”.  And so it shall be.

Now it's Emily's turn...

This past year has been intense, overwhelming, scary, full of serendipity, and has shifted my perspective on just about everything. And that's just my point of view, not Eric's.

The past year has shown the tour de force that is my family and Eric's friends and community. When things get weird, confusing, hard, uncertain, or too much to manage...we show up. Whether you want us to or not.

The past year has had a subtext of living exactly how you want to live. Eric has always been an example to me of someone living the way they want to live. His education, pure love of mathematics, and dedication to his students. His desire to produce meaningful work that continues to change the lives of others. His desire to do things like walk out his front door and keep walking until he gets to Canada. His 'trail angel' take on helping others taking on great adventures - hosting Tour Divide 'strangers', water drops on the CDT, mentoring fellow hikers while on his own long-distance hike. Eric also continues to live his way every day throughout this cancer journey. His motto, movement is medicine, is a wonderful oversimplification of himself. 

Throughout the past years' journey, Eric has shown up in his way - continuous forward momentum with every challenge thrown at him. We all showed up. Everyone has been changed. We all keep moving forward.

Emily

Lastly, it's my turn...

For possibly the first time in my life, I'm at a loss for words to describe the last year. But, when I reflect on the year there are three things that stand out to me: how proud I am of my family, how much we laughed, and all the hikes. 

As Emily said, this year has brought some high highs and very low lows. Yet through it all our family showed up. We Sullivans are fixers and do-ers...and like it or not we're going to show up to fix and do. I'm proud of how each of us used our skills and were brave, vulnerable, and open. Not everyone can say that their family shows up in situations like this. But we did...and continue to. And for this, I am very proud!

We also laughed a lot. Laughed until we cried! We laughed about silly memories, funny things Eric said under anesthesia, and epic movie lines. We also talked about poop. I'm not sure why but we did! Laughter has softened the edges of hard news, eased difficult days, and lifted our spirits when we were low. Laughter has been a form of medicine that has helped us move forward...lift our chins and face the next challenge. 

And there were hikes. I have hiked more (at elevation) in the last year than I have in a long time! But, hiking has given us opportunities to blow off steam, share quiet moments, talk openly, and reflect. Plus, it's like a personal challenge to keep up with Eric...or find good excuses to make him stop so we can catch our breath. 

Julie

We close this year with a deep feeling of appreciation! Appreciation for each of you...for showing up in even the smallest ways...a friendly smile on campus, a meal, a dog walk, a hug on a long day. We are continuously amazed by the support our family has received. And, we're grateful...grateful beyond words!

So on this day, we celebrate Eric and focus on tomorrow. And the next day, months, and years...because there is a lot of cancer ass kicking left to do! 

Mom and Dad (Donna and Drew), Doug, Emily, and Julie

If you are interested in supporting Eric and J, our PostHope donations page is open. All donations are used to help ease the financial burden of Eric's ongoing healthcare needs. Post Hope Donations

You can share your favorite Eric memory on our Newly Words site: Eric's Newly Words Site

If you would like to wear your support for Eric, we still have Sullivan Strong bands available for purchase. All proceeds go to Eric's healthcare costs. Sullivan Strong Bands