Day 15
I did not anticipate such a successful first two weeks of treatment. On the eve before my first round, a neighbor who works as an oncology nurse at the cancer center I did not choose, came over with a detailed handwritten note (and lemon bars) highlighting all the important details about chemo to help me feel confident going in to my first experience. I had met the woman once by happenstance, standing in line for ramen at a food cart, and now I have every phone number that she could ever be reached at and gave me permission to call 24/7. How cool is that?! After chatting with her in my backyard, I felt like I could conquer anything. And she was right, my first two weeks of treatment went really well. For the first week after my first chemo infusion, my main side effect observations (I didn’t complain) were shakey jittery body, general aches in my legs and body (felt like growing pains), lightheaded dizziness, feeling shivery and cold (no fever) in our house but our ac is blasting so?, constipation- TMI? I can give you a recipe that swings that pendulum in the other direction... it’s a slippery slope. The positive side effect observations were an unexpected surprise and impacted me more than any of the expected negative side effects. The doctors all mentioned how much better I would feel after starting chemo and I just thought that sounded crazy because of the toxicity and descriptions of terrible side effects. How could it make me feel better?! But right away I noticed the swelling in my neck is gone, I can turn my head side to side, and best of all I am able to swallow and eat again. And boy have I been eating! Gluttony, how I have missed you. The nurses were happy to see I put on a pound yesterday. Basically for the first week, I gave myself permission to nap when I felt like it, step away from trying to be present in every second with the kids, and allowed myself to sit while watching all the daily tasks fall on willing Kaveh and my Mom (and several thoughtful friends!) I was able to go for walks and get outside a lot and that really helped keep my mental state clear and body strong. My brother and his family came and stayed the weekend with us in our home and it felt awesome to be able to do that. And let’s talk about science. Thank god for the nerds who’ve discovered all the advances in medicine!! I took anti nausea pills for the first four days as regimented by the pharmacist and didn’t have to dip into my three “as needed” anti nausea prescriptions at any point over the course of two weeks. For the second week I felt more like myself, although I’m forgetting what it feels like to actually be “normal.” We spontaneously took a road trip down to visit my dad in Sacramento. It was so nice to get away and do normal life things. It was comforting for me to have my friends and family in California be able to see firsthand how strong (and healthy?) I still am. Dad, I got this, stop worrying. [...]
