Kirby Wars: The Cancer Strikes Back

The cancer is back. Like a John Farnham farewell tour, it never seems to be over.

Since our last post on 6th Feb, a lot has happened. Kirby completed about six weeks of radiation therapy, which she found much easier than chemotherapy despite some skin burns and discomfort. Towards the end of radiation, she had some abdominal pain and decided to get it checked out. The scans took several weeks but revealed that the cancer had metastasised in her liver... twice. Somehow the cancer had escaped from her breast and showed up in the rest of her body. Microscopic cancer cells—far too small for any medical instrument to detect—managed to evade the previous treatment. We got the news two days before Kirby and the girls relocated. We thought Townsville would be an opportunity for Kirby to recover and a place for us to relax and enjoy the sunshine, but life had other plans.

***Shitty news warning***

This means that the cancer is no longer curable. 

But it doesn’t mean she stops fighting. Kirby’s treatment will now include a different type of chemotherapy (Cisplatin and Etoposide), aimed at trying to control the spread and deal with the immediate cancers in her liver. This will see her receive three days of chemotherapy treatment, followed by about three weeks of recovery. And this will be repeated four times, ending around late July. She will then get more scans to see how she’s going. 

In terms of side-effects, we have been warned that the new chemotherapy will be more intense and cause increased nausea and hair loss… again. By far the biggest risk remains infection. Kirby will have low white cells which means she won’t have much of an immune system to fight off nasty bugs. This is concerning because the girls are now at school and I’m back at work. 

We don’t really know what we’re supposed to do now. There’s no playbook for this one. Contrary to popular belief, the doctors never really have the “you’ve got X months to live” conversation like they do in the movies. The new oncologist in Townsville clearly knows her stuff, and she’s made some vague references to enjoying the time we have left together. It’s a balance between chemotherapy and enjoying family time. But when we asked the question directly she was very hesitant to put a time-frame on it. So obviously we went and checked Dr Google to see what he had to say. And it wasn’t awesome. We’re thinking months and (maybe) years rather than decades. But who knows? It’s ridiculous because Kirby actually feels quite good at the moment. She’s energetic and normal right now, which makes the diagnosis unbelievable,  but she needs to have the chemo which will make her feel awful.

The next step for us will be to tell Nyla and Scarlett over the coming weeks. Honesty is the best approach, but we’re waiting until we have enough information to answer their questions openly. We don’t know exactly how they’ll react, but we do know they’ll take their lead from us – so we’ll need to strike a balance between the seriousness of the situation and keeping things as happy as possible. We ask that everyone gives us, and them, a bit of time before engaging. This will be tough.

As always, Kirby has been spectacular throughout the whole ordeal. Of course, we’re sad about the news, but time spent being sad is time wasted. There’s plenty of time for that later. We are focused on the next step and making memories with the kids.

To bring you up to speed on other news, we’ve bought a house in Annandale, which is right next to the school and the Army base in Townsville. It’s got a pool so the girls are stoked, but it needs a bit of work to get up to J-family standards. We’re having the interior painted and doing some minor home and garden improvements. I have been busy handy-manning around with my Leatherman, which is of course having disastrous consequences. For example, I dug a hole for a fence post which resulted in a cracked stormwater pipe and multiple trips to Bunnings. By the end of the ordeal, I couldn’t tell if I’d fixed the pipe because the hole was still filling with water… from my tears. At least it wasn’t sewerage I suppose. 

At the moment, we’re living in a hotel while we wait for our furniture to arrive. We’re planning to move in on 17th May (yep, four days after Kirby’s chemo). It’s going to be a big effort, but we’re really excited to finally have our very own home. The girls started at Townsville Grammar School and have already made some friends in class and seem to be loving it. Their teachers seem lovely and the school is very well organised. After Kirby received the most recent news, Deb returned from Tasmania to help out again. She’s been amazing and travelled up with Kirby and the kids on the flight. She’ll stay with us for a little while, then swap out again with my mum, Julie once we get settled.

My work is quite flexible, but there will be some periods this year that will require me to be away for a few weeks. We’ll need to rely on family and friends during these times to make sure Kirby and the kids are looked after. In the longer run, I haven’t really put much thought into what work looks like for me. My job as Commanding Officer of 3 RAR is pretty much the best one there is – so what happens next is of no great concern. 

Obi is having a grand old time at the Townsville pet resort. We’ll pick him up after our removal so he can re-commence chewing duties in the backyard. Everyone has asked us how they can help. But we genuinely don’t know how. For now, we’re all together again and that’s what matters. 

Every setback is an opportunity.

Chris