Faster than expected

If ‘every setback is an opportunity’, then let’s just say we’ve had plenty of opportunities lately.

Kirby’s overall prognosis is not promising. We have been told that the cancer is accelerating and that we can expect less than 12 months together. This is devastating news. Kirby actually feels quite well at the moment so the news seems unbelievable. 

Kirby finished her last round of chemo in October and took a few tests to see how she was going. We thought there might have been an option for surgery to remove the small cancer on her liver, which might have given her some additional time off chemo. But unfortunately, while Kirby was off chemo and undergoing testing (MRI’s, CT scans etc) for possible surgery the cancer had other plans and decided to start growing/spreading in the liver. This meant that surgery was no longer worthwhile and her prognosis worsened. Next, we thought she was eligible for a promising immunotherapy trial in Melbourne especially for neuroendocrine cancers. But Kirby’s recent test results indicated the cancer was too aggressive and the doctor in Melbourne said the trial would take too long to start working (the cancer would continue spreading while we wait). So they didn’t accept Kirby onto the trial and she’s had to start urgent chemotherapy again at the end of November.  

Kirby was determined to get to Tasmania, so she and the kids too the trip just two days after her first chemo. With the help of some amazing friends, we found an Oncologist in Launceston and arranged for her to get her second dose of chemo in Tassie… then she got COVID. Her treatment was delayed by a week, and she managed to share COVID with Deb and Wayne but the trip was still amazing and she got a chance to see her Tassie family and friends. It had nearly been two years since Kirby had been in Tasmania which is the longest she had ever been away from her island home. She’s already planning her next trip back.

There is a possibility that she might undergo a different type of immunotherapy up here in Townsville next year while she remains on chemo.  The treatment options are limited due to the type of cancer. It’s not a ‘normal’ breast cancer, but a high-grade neuroendocrine cancer. It’s incredibly rare, which means there aren’t many treatment options or studies into what can help. The treatment has a low likelihood of success and is extraordinarily expensive. But we are still weighing up our options with her oncologist.

Last week, I informed the Army of our change in circumstances and have decided to step back from my role as Commanding Officer of 3 RAR next year. I spent the past 20 years looking forward to the job and I’ve genuinely had a great time. I’ve had the opportunity to work with 600 absolute legend soldiers (admittedly some of them were lunatics) and together we’ve had some fantastic training opportunities all over the world. Hopefully I’ve added some value and my team is in a good position to move forward. Although I love my job and the people I work with, choosing my family was a pretty easy decision to make in the end. 

I have arranged to work from home next year in a different role which means I’ll have a lot more time to spend with Kirby and our girls. We will remain in Townsville to provide as much stability as possible for the girls. They have a wonderful school and some really nice friends. Our neighbours are great and we really enjoy the tropical lifestyle. Kirby’s oncologist is very good and, despite the fact she keeps giving us shitty news, she is very supportive. 

On a positive note, we’ve done some amazing little family holidays lately. In early October, we took a trip to the Gold Coast with Kirby’s family. We stayed at a resort and went to all the theme parks together, swam with a dolphin, and wined and dined. The kids had a great time and it was nice to see everyone. 

Just recently we went to the Whitsundays together and stayed on Daydream Island for a few nights. We went to the outer reef and did some swimming and snorkelling… and I got to introduce the family to not-so-tactical helicopter operations when we took a joy flight over the reef. It was incredible. 

Over Christmas we plan to stay local. We’ve got some family and friends coming to stay with us for short periods over the summer holidays which should be great. 

My Mum took over from Deb as the live-in Nanny for a few months in September. It was great to have her here for a few months and the girls especially enjoyed figuring out ways to manipulate another grandmother into giving them chocolate.

We are travelling to Sydney from 6th – 8th January and we’re going to attend Day 3 of the Pink Test at the Sydney Cricket Ground on 6th January. It’s a special occasion in support of breast cancer awareness and the McGrath Foundation. We’ve got tickets in the Bill O’Reilly Stand and I’ve sent out a Facebook Event invite for anyone who is keen to attend. Additionally, for those who are still around or those who can’t make the cricket, we’re planning to meet at Centennial Park at around 10am on 7th January (near the Paddington Gates on the North West side of the park). I’ve sent another Facebook Event invite out with details. It would be lovely to see everyone. 

We hope everyone has an amazing Christmas. Lots of love to all. 

Every setback is an opportunity.