Kirby Wars: Return of the Chemo

It’s been a few months since we last provided an update. 

Kirby commenced the latest round of chemo in Townsville on 11th May just before we moved into our new (and also tiny) house. The plan was to do four to six treatment cycles of 21 days each; three consecutive chemo days and then 18 days to rest and recover. At first, we thought this would provide us with some flexibility to plan some trips away. But life had other plans.

Shortly after Kirby’s first chemo treatment cycle, she picked up a nasty viral infection and developed a really bad cough which led to pneumonia. The coughing was so bad that it kept her up at night and caused her immense pain. After two trips to the emergency department, a ride in an ambulance, we finally discovered that she had broken four of her ribs (two each side) from the persistent coughing. Her second chemo treatment had to be delayed by a couple of weeks until she had somewhat recovered. But to this day, she’s still not able to sleep or move completely pain-free. We’re hoping her ribs improve over the coming weeks. 

Despite Kirby’s cough (and before we knew she had actually broken her ribs) we managed to take a short trip to Magnetic Island to celebrate Nyla’s 8th Birthday. She loves Koalas so we did the Koala Bay breakfast with Koalas which was really cool. We swam in the ocean (in winter) because the weather was still so nice. The girls enjoyed feeding the rock wallabies and all of the nice restaurants we ate at.  

The viral infection was a real scare for us all and a reminder of how dangerous infections can be. Once she was coughing, there was simply nothing I could do to take away her pain. Every cough was agony for her. At her worst, she said she was in nearly as much pain as me after watching South Sydney Rabbitohs lose the NRL Grand Final last year. Poor thing. Her ribs will eventually recover but my pride will not. 

The move into the new house went well. It’s been difficult going from a five-bedroom house in Canberra to a three-bedroom house with minimal storage in Townsville. It’s been and incredibly slow and messy journey due to Kirby’s illness and my work (and inherent laziness). We are really grateful to have had Deb and Wayne here to assist. As well as our Townsville friends which have all been fantastic. We are absolutely loving the new house and the pool. The girls have been swimming regularly, even during the winter months. The locals think they’re crazy but the days have been lovely and warm compared to Canberra. 

A few weeks ago, Kirby had another couple of scans to confirm what was going on with the cancer in her liver. Due to the disruption in the previous round of chemo, it was difficult for the oncologist to tell how effective it was. The metastasises have neither grown nor shrunk, but the oncologist wants her to do another few cycles to see what happens. Meanwhile they’re considering other options such as surgery, but they’re not sure.

We finally built up the courage to speak to our girls and be honest about Kirby’s prognosis. It was every bit as terrifying as we thought it would be. 

Nyla was very mature about the news. Of course, she was sad but she amazed us with the way she handled everything. She is a deep-thinker, so we’ve had numerous conversations with her about what the future might look like and she’s been taking it all in her stride. Scarlett on the other hand really wears her heart on her sleeve and has no filter when it comes to talking about death and dying. She’s been the one to voice what she’s thinking and ask the tough questions… often at the weirdest and most awkward moments. There’s been lots of tears. She regularly chats to people in the street or at the shops and casually drops the news on them. I’m convinced she does it just to see how people react. 

More broadly, the girls have been doing really well at school. They have both been making plenty of friends and their teachers are wonderful. We also have some awesome neighbours with kids (almost all girls) about the same age as ours. So basically, our girls are in a street gang now. 

Our long-awaited trip to the Gold Coast in early August had to be postponed because the girls got sick with COVID. Despite Kirby’s best efforts not to contract it she did.  We were really nervous about her contracting another cough while her ribs are still healing. Luckily, she was able to get antivirals and the COVID symptoms were only very mild.  We have pushed the trip back a few weeks and will get down there at the beginning of September. Lots of the Tassie family are flying up to meet us, and we’ll get the chance to visit my Dad and Heather on the farm at Mt Burrell. 

Deb will head back to Tasmania at the end of the Gold Coast trip. She’s been running the household here in Townsville and doing an absolutely amazing job. Julie (Mum) will be coming to stay with us for the next few months to help us out. We still feel that the decision to be in Townsville is a good one. We can’t change the cancer or the need for chemo, but at least we are enjoying the warm days in the sun rather than being locked inside the house in Canberra with the heater going in-between treatments. 

My work is awesome. I’ve been blessed with a very good team this year and the 3rd Battalion is in good shape. I spent a few weeks out in the field playing armies and it was genuinely great fun. Apart from a few trips away, I think I've been able to find a balance between work and family. Sadly, I’ve only got another 14 or so months in command. There is simply no other job in the Army quite like this one. I’ve had some early discussions with work and it’s likely I’ll look to shift gears for the next posting and really look for something that allows me to focus on Kirby and the kids almost full-time. My chain of command has been incredibly supportive and have assured me they’ll have our backs. It's one less stress on our lives. 

Once again, thanks to all of our wonderful family and friends for your amazing (and often outrageously over-the top) support. We love you guys.

Every setback is an opportunity.

CJ