No Nightmares

Nothing gets me more passionate about living a Christlike life than watching RENT. The amazing musical displays the incredible power of true love - imagine what the world would look like if more Christians loved as genuinely as the characters in RENT. This planet would be so much more enjoyable. Even with such genuine love, pain and suffering is inevitable, and the musical addresses the struggles we face in life with the haunting refrain, "Will I lose my dignity? / Will someone care? / Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?" Those questions run through my head in the melodic round from the musical, demanding to be left unanswered as I slog through predictable unpredictability each day. Will I lose my dignity when I need help to get dressed each morning? Will someone care when I'm still in pain two months after my accident? The answer to those questions are clear; the nurses consistently uphold my dignity, and friends and family across the globe continue to encourage and pray for me. The hardest question to answer is the last: Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare? The short answer is no; there are lifelong ramifications that I'll have to live with on a daily basis not to mention the larger complications of long term medical treatment in multiple countries when I finally do return to Germany or visit the US. But is this really a nightmare? Part of me is very certain it is, but a different part of me loves having after dinner conversations with Jo and Alf that have to take place in three different languages. Alf is fluent in Spanish and German but only knows a little English. Jo is fluent in English and German, and I have English and a decent memory of Spanish. That was the farthest thing from a nightmare, and I don't want to give that up. I want to make the most of my time here as I continue to heal rather than wish about what won't change. As I make the most of this time, I ask for continued prayers that the leg tremors would decrease. They have continued in higher frequency though still low intensity. My hips were worked hard this week, but I also would appreciate more prayer for continued strength. Please also pray that my muscles would relax over this weekend as they are particularly sore and tired this week. Thank you so much for the ongoing care and encouragement as you lift me up in prayer.