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Posted 2014-06-05T14:50:32Z

Incredibly loved

I was prepared for my first social outing to be an emotionally overwhelming event, however, I was not prepared to receive quite the welcome that I did when I wheeled into the BFA staff appreciation dinner last night. I thought I could make an inconspicuous entrance since I'm short in my wheelchair. I'm a little suspicious the tall Canadian behind me was waving his hands or something to draw attention to me... I barely made it into the building before people started clapping, and then they started standing up across the room. From the outside, I'm sure it looked strange to see a room full of adults dressed to the nines applauding a wheelchair bound girl in sweatpants. For me, I was keenly aware of how incredibly loved I am, and I'm so grateful for it.

I had the wonderful opportunity to participate in the staff event as a fully fledged member of BFA's staff. I was reunited for the second time with all of my housemates at once. I got to ride in a real car - there and back. I even got to hold a real, live baby. It was a night full of normal things, and I was able to participate almost fully. There were still a few things that were different than how I envisioned I'd spend the night when I first came on staff, but those normal moments mean a lot.

I'm still overwhelmed at the idea of transitioning away from rehab, but knowing I can do some of these small things is a huge deal. Particularly, I have to lend my thanks to the Bryans who completely unknowingly assuaged one of my greatest fears. Early on I realized that I'm stuck in place when I'm holding something because I can't hold on and wheel, and the idea of holding a real, live baby seemed ridiculously impossible. Granted, this fear took root when I was still heavily drugged four months ago, but getting a chance to hold the Bryan's baby wiped that away. Plus, she is adorable.

I really do look forward to getting to have more normal interactions like last night. I know the more that I do outside of rehab, the more normal my life will become. As Jo's told me many times, whatever level of healing I get to, eventually that is my normal and I'll get used to it. There's still a lot of healing taking place, and I'm hopeful for significant strides in the coming weeks. I'm working hard with the therapists to learn how to stand and balance without using my arms; it's really difficult right now. Please keep praying for balance and bathroom improvements.

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Comments (9)

  • Sue Kummer
    Sue Kummer

    There was NO WAY you could have sneaked (snuck?) in last night! And I was so excited to see you coming in the door! You are greatly missed Laura, and it was so great to see you back with the BFA gang again, (and the Garni Girls!) hanging out, and celebrating with us all, as we all finish out a very full year that was full of a lot of the 'unexpected' for all of us. Little Sarah Joy may never know how much joy she gave you that night as you held her. I guess the Bryans knew what they were doing when they named her! Praying for you again today, and for those bathroom 'facilities' to work better!

    10 years ago · Reply
  • Corrine Rogers
    Corrine Rogers

    You are incredibly loved because you are incredible and have incredible family and friends. And as far as normal goes.... As always, prayers, hugs, and love!

    10 years ago · Reply
  • Helen Spencer
    Helen Spencer

    How lovely! Keep going for normal. Much love and hugsl prayers too.

    10 years ago · Reply
  • Joseph Hull
    Joseph Hull

    So good having you back with us. Praying for you.

    10 years ago · Reply
  • Shirley Barker
    Shirley Barker


    10 years ago · Reply
  • Jolion Ridges
    Jolion Ridges

    No-one noticed the wheelchair. As always, it's the hipster glasses. :-D

    10 years ago · Reply
  • Hanna Monson
    Hanna Monson

    Love love love you!!!

    10 years ago · Reply
  • Gloria Crawford
    Gloria Crawford

    So enjoyed seeing the joy in your face and in all of the Garni girls!!

    10 years ago · Reply
  • Linda Durieux
    Linda Durieux

    You are in my prayers, excited that your balance is improving. You are making great strides. PTL for The Great Physician & Healer. Your improvement in both balance & bathroom techniques will only get better and better. Keep your chin up and "always look at the bright side of life." And, from the Bible...always keep your eyes fixed of thanks in all things....for your stage of improvement is where God wants you at this moment. Your courage, stamina, discipline & strength are inspiring. Warmly, Aunt Linda (Ahna's aunt)

    10 years ago · Reply