No Short Cuts

I would never let a student take a short cut to completing an assignment - the goal is the learning that happens when you are going through the painful process. I often find myself wishing I could walk again instantly - wouldn't that be wonderful? Well, I might walk again, but the miracle I am now is made through this process me taking the time to loosen those muscles each night as I get into bed.

First I unstrap my braces and remove my awesome green shoes and mismatched socks before rubbing my legs and ankles a little to see if I can get my toes and heels to evenly touch the floor. I lean on my knees to force the heels to make contact. I sit for a little bit and pray, "Lord, let me move a toe today." It hasn't happened it, but I'm not giving up hope yet. Next, I laboriously lift a leg on top of the opposite knee to pull on my incredible dinosaur socks from my second family in the States. The teal socks are a layer of protection for my skin against the velcro straps that are about to fight against the "spitzfuss" of my tightened muscles. I push my foot into the boots that will fight my feet through the night and add a washcloth between my sock and the strap at my ankle for added protection against red marks on my skin. I'll still likely wake up to see thin red lines remembering the fight through the night between my muscle spasms and the velcro straps on the boots, but it's better than letting the muscles continue to tighten unhindered.

I hear the velcro yelling at my legs when they silently scream through the muscle spasms all night long. It wakes me up in the night, and I struggle to get back to sleep. I rarely get more than a couple hours of consecutive sleep, so I would be grateful for prayers of rest through the night. 

I'd still also like prayers for other miraculous healing - for loosened muscles, for returned function, for reconnected nerves, for renewed energy each morning. They are totally selfish requests, but I think they are still valuable. However, there's one more valuable request I'd like you to lift up with me. It's one of my birthday requests. Six months ago, I asked that you would pray that my pain would bring me closer to Jesus. I still want that.

One of my best friends recently was reflecting on this and commented, "One day of suffering brings me so much closer to my Savior than an entire lifetime of comfort." A - freaking - men. I don't want to wallow in my suffering - neither does Rachel who said that. I want to be responsible with my suffering. I want to work hard and learn this lesson through the difficulties rather than taking short cuts. I know there are rough days ahead - believe me there have been rough days behind - but please pray with me that I'll face them with grace and dignity, that I'll keep fighting and never give up, and that I'll know more of Jesus through this every day.