If I Stand

I'll try to keep this short and sweet as next week I'll be sure to give a long reflective update (check your calendars for the reason why). Owl City recently released a cover of a great Rich Mullins song, and I've been listening to it on repeat the last two or three days. The chorus is as follows: 

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home

I'm not a man, but back in the 90s when this song was written, the word was more inclusive, so I embrace all the lyrics. Some days I stand; some days I can't. Some days I sing and weep at the same time. I still long for healing; I still long for home.

A friend at church this morning asked me how I was doing with the big day coming up in a week. I said I didn't know. I really don't. I expected to be further along by now; I expect more every morning. Several people came up to me after church to encourage me, and one of them was a man who had a stroke eight years ago. He spent nearly a year in the same facility I did though a different unit. He told me never give up.

I never will.

I have less than I expected, but I won't stop expecting. This last week I've had a rough time sleeping and my muscles feel more stiff and achey, but I still get out of bed each morning and work as hard as I can to make it through each day well. I've still wiggled my toe every morning since I first discovered that new ability. There is still more to come, and I'll never stop expecting. Please pray with me as I anticipate miracles each morning and as I stand, sit, sing, and weep as needed each day and with the right attitude.