1. "Stressed Out" by twenty one pilots
Graduation was yesterday, and one of the responses to shared truths I came up with (explained in my James post last week) was to not stress about packing, but to let students come over during finals. Well, a steady stream of young people came through my window Thursday morning through Saturday evening, and I'm so delighted they chose my house as a hang out place. It does, however, leave me with a lot of packing and three days less to get it done in. I have no regrets, but I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little stressed out about two international moves in the next three months.
2. "Santa Fe" from RENT
Okay, so I considered making this year the year of the musicals and having all the songs be from Broadway shows, but I resisted the impulse (it's only half songs musicals). I'm not shy about my love for the musical RENT and how it inspires me to love more unconditionally. I figured I'd already used "Will I?" but discovered it actually is that I've used that song for multiple individual posts over the last four years. I still wanted something else, and Santa Fe stuck out when I was watching the movie last week because it's the idealization of where everyone isn't. I'm forced to leave Germany, but I don't want to idealize the next place that I'm going. It's not a place to run away from any problems; life is life, and problems will follow you anywhere.
3. "Beauty Through the Eyes of a Predator" by Demon Hunter
Every annual list has a Demon Hunter song, and this is one of my absolute favorite songs by my absolute favorite band. Honestly, I can't express how this perfectly fits this year, but I've dealt with a lot of emotional growth similar to the year this song came out and I was dealing with a lot of emotional growth. It's also just a freaking incredible song.
4. "I See Stars" from Mean Girls
The Mean Girls Broadway musical came out this year. Have you heard it yet? It's fabulous. There wasn't really a great song to fit my year from it, but I've been listening to the soundtrack so much the past month I felt like I needed to include one. This one is the finale, and I'm finishing five beautiful years in Germany celebrating my amazing stars. That's the stretch I'm going to stick with for this post.
5. "This Is Gospel" by Panic at the Disco
Alright, so the beat of my heart also has the fear of falling apart, but really, the line that made me think this was worth including (beyond the catchy Panic emo tune) was "Don't try to sleep through the end of the world / Bury me alive / 'cause I won't give up without a fight / If you love me let me go." It's a loaded bunch of lyrics - I'm on my way out, but I'm making sure it's not a running away (see next song).
6. "Run" by Kutless
Going old school two in a row here - this is a great breakout album that I'll forever love. I'm headed to New Zealand for that actual sabbatical rest, and I'm so excited to rest in the presence of a Savior who just wants to be with me.
7. "Resurrection Day" by Rend Collective
Guys, have I mentioned how much I love this album? Yes, yes I have. It's fabulous. And this song is an anthem for this year because I'm not the one raising me up. It's all because Jesus. That's the title of my future memoir: Because Jesus. You see, I know full well there's not a stinking thing I can do on my own strength - I'm still disabled. But my Resurrected Savior has brought me to new life in him.
8. "My Shot" from Hamilton
I told you I was using a lot of musicals this year. So, resurrected human that I am, I'm not throwing away my shot.
9. "Defying Gravity" from Wicked
Last musical, I swear. So, resurrected, not throwing away my shot, watch me defying gravity. This year, "I'm through accepting limits / 'cause someone says they're so / Some things I cannot change / but 'til I try, I'll never know."
10. Home by Phillip Phillips
Sappy expat song time. This was on my playlist when I moved overseas five years ago. I had no idea I was leaving a home for so long. I also had no idea how Germany would grow to have such a strong sense of home for me. I have no idea what's in store in New Zealand. "If you get lost, you can always be found."
Bonus Track: "Alright" by Superchick
Yup. Every year has a Demon Hunter song and a Superchick song - those are mandatory. This year it's the bonus track because it's the song that encapsulates the entirety of my year and my month and my moment. Each verse is a different moment of my transition, and I'm sometimes all at once. So, "I'll hope for you, you hope for me / and together we can say, "It'll be okay."