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Posted 2024-05-04T02:10:38Z

Grief

Back when I was caring for Rich, I had this image that would replay in my head where I was trapped in a dirt hole and I would be climbing to escape, but every time I grabbed hold, it would crumble beneath my fingers, my nails full of dirt. Now, when I think about all that I can no longer do with him by my side, grief washes over me in a different way. I feel the sensation of grief physically in my body. Starting from my head, it's a rush, a wave that travels down my body, to my toes. In the worst moments, it knocks me off of my feet and takes my breath away. My brain and body somehow know to save these moments for when the kids aren’t around, or after they go to bed. I don’t fight the wave, instead I ride it. [...]