4/5/2017, Number Your Days
Hello, My Beautiful Family & Friends!
It’s been awhile. Sorry for such a delay. Just so much happening.
A quick recap: Southern France was AMAZING!!! We got to meet up with old friends and make lots of new ones. Got to visit gorgeous places and eat fabulous food. The French people were so hospitable and friendly. It was truly an incredible time.
Let’s see, last I wrote I had started another FOLFOX with Avastin treatment. It worked pretty well and then stopped working. Bummer. So I started another chemo in January—the one based on the genome testing of my cancer. It, too, did nothing. Another two months lost. Bummer #2. My latest tumor markers are up in the 2000s. Not good.
Just started a different chemo last Thursday. It’s taken twice a day. 5 days on. 2 days off. 5 days on. 14 days off. Repeat. So far, it’s making me super nauseous and exhausted. I spend most of the day in bed. Forcing myself to get up and see Scott and the girls off in the morning and sometimes even run some errands. But then it’s straight back to bed. I hate it. I’m supposed to give this one a try for 2 rounds (2 months). But, I’m not waiting that long. If I see no improvement after the first round/month, I’ll move to the next chemo, which is some sort of clinical trial.
Also, through all of this I’ve tried numerous “non-chemo” treatments that have helped others with their cancer. Unfortunately, they don’t work either. I just have that form of cancer that is hard to treat.
So, as you can read, it hasn’t been the best of times lately. In fact, I finally got the courage to ask my Oncologist “How much time?” His answer, “If nothing works, 4 months.” He went on to explain that it could be more because I’m healthy and (relatively) young. But, like giving birth, you can’t know the exact day. That was rough to hear. Four months. Approximately, 120 days. How weird it is to receive an expiration date on your life. Obviously, you try to make sure you’re right with God and with the people you know. Thankfully, I was given two extra years to do that. I guess I’ve been expecting this to come someday—but prayed it wouldn’t. One goes through the throws of denial and negotiating and whatever else. But, each day is a new day. And I thank God for it and ask for many more.
So, not the best news. That’s partially why this has taken so long to write. As always, thank you for your incredible support of me and family through this whole debacle. It helps to have so many friends and family holding us up. God knows all and can do all, so I’m still praying for a miracle. But at the same time, I’m facing reality and what it requires. Hugs to you all. Sarah
Comments (26)
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You are an incredibly strong, positive, and amazing woman. We will continue to pray for you. 🙏🏼❤ Katie & Jesse Roessler
Dearest Sarah, Just as you found it hard to write us... we, too, find it hard to respond. The news you share in not the news any of us wants to hear. You and your family are SO MUCH LOVED by Val & I and so many others! You have friends all over this country and many, I suspect, around the world. Your zest for life, love of family, love of friends, love for God and His way has made you a beautiful poster child of Christianity.. way before you began your fight with cancer. And your fight with cancer has been an inspiration to all who know you, and many that don't. We all know that eventually we will face death, but we hope we will cheat it by surviving until our Savior comes and we can be changed & resurrected rather than die. But what we wish for and what will be the reality are, in most cases, not the same. The tremendous powerfully positive and gracious example you have set is one that I believe we, your support team, all hope we will be able to emulate when it is our turn to look death in the face. Dear Sarah, you are so loved by us. We will certainly continue to keep you and your lovely family in our prayers, now with even more intensity and fervor as we beseech our loving heavenly Father to strengthen you, Scott, and the girls, and if in His infinite wisdom and mercy, that He would please grant the miracle we all desire for you. Whatever happens, I know you have fought a good fight, you have kept the faith, and are finishing a hard race.. and you certainly have a beautiful crown of righteousness waiting for you! One of your many brothers in Christ, With tearful love and hugs, Dan
I know that words can't change the diagnosis, but knowing that we're all still praying daily that our Heavenly Father will have mercy and perform a miracle will hopefully give you strength in this very difficult time. You are an amazing, strong woman and you have handled this trial with humor, dignity, love for others and grace. God has to be pleased at how much your faith has strengthened over the two years, even though we wish it didn't take such awful circumstances to bring us to the next level. But that's why we're here--to become totally dependent on Him and to realize that we are not in control of our lives. He is. We must do our part and then surrender completely to His will, and that takes courage, faith and humility. You have been a wonderful example to all of us and we love you dearly.
You remain an inspiration and an example of courage, of grace and steadfast faith amidst all of it. My thoughts and prayers remain with you and Scott and the girls, for continued strength, for encouragement both physically and spiritually, and for healing. Love and hugs to each of you.
Thank you for your update. Earnest petitions to our heavenly Healer laden with tears of love for you have been my meager contribution. You've done absolutely everything to kick this horrible disease and given yourself and your family more time. Though, it's never enough- obviously. Let me just say this to you right now - I'm so grateful to have walked this earth with you. You are one of those amazing people who bless everyone's lives they touch. So very honored to be in that sphere. Your enthusiasm and contagious smile lift the hearts of all of us. Thank you my friend. I hope that in all my future trials that I am as courageous as you are - a true warrior. Fight on Sarah! May 4 months turn into more and more. If not, thank you for allowing us to love on you all the more as we walk this path with you - holding you in our hearts and lending you our strength. I love you and pray daily.
Dear sweet Sarah - thank you so much for the update as you have been ever in my thoughts. This was a very tough message to read, but I know it was even more difficult to hear and write this firsthand. Words fail me except to say that God is on His own timetable, and in that context days and numbers thrown about by humans mean little for any one of us - including you, dear one. Please keep us posted as you are able. Always, always in my prayers and sending lots of love to all of the Gjesvolds. xo
Oh Sarah! Certainly not the words I wanted to read. I wish I was there to be by your side and give you big hugs and to let you know how much you are loved. You are such a strong, courageous, and faithful woman of God. You are an inspiration to me and so many others. I love you dear sister! You and your wonderful family will continue to be in my heartfelt prayers for God's strength, peace and His perfect will. With Much Love and Heartfelt Prayers, Val
Love you, Sarah. Know I meant every word in my FB message with all my heart. Just say the word. ♥
Sarah, so sorry to hear that your numbers are up and stuck. You have shared your zest for life as well as your faith. We are still praying for you and your family. Here's to an exceptionally meaningful spring holy day season.
Sarah, Scott and girls-I don't know if anybody could of expressed what we all feel better than Dan D above and all who have commented here. You are truly one of Gods children and have fought this the powerful fight harder than most could ever do. Prayers to you that you feel joy, peace and love every day and that you continue to have hope. "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you" Psalm 56:3 Love to you all-I hope you feel the hugs-
These were tough words to read, so I can't even imagine how much tougher they were to hear. You know that God is more powerful than any diagnosis or prognosis. You have been an amazing example of faith, so you keep fighting!!! We all continue to lift you up in prayer. Sending you hugs and much, much love.....
Sarah, it was so nice to see you when I was up visiting in the cities. You have carried yourself with dignity, humor and caring throughout. Denny and I have been praying for you every day asking God to heal and give you strength. And we will not give up. We will continue to pray for healing. Our love and caring are with you and your family. Love, Kathy and Denny Lausted
Sarah, We LOVE you! Sherry, Glenn, Andrew, Megan, and Meredith.
Kit and I just prayed for you, for an intervention, a healing. I'm so sorry to read that the numbers are up, and the chemo affects you so badly. I can see from the comments here already how many people love you. Here's hoping the next update has better news.
Sarah and Scott: Thank you for the courage to share this update and being an inspiration to us all! We love you and are praying for you and the family daily. Bob & Gina Brown
Know that you are loved greatly and that we will continue to lift you and your family in our prayers. You have shown so much courage, faith, and humor throughout this trial. It is was when the odds seem insurmountable that God performs his best miracles, as there is nothing too difficult for God. We all need to be grateful for the gift of each day as all our days are numbered. With lots of hugs and love, Deanne and Dusti Howell
Our Dearest Sarah, You are so brave! Thank you for the update. I was about getting desperate enough to message Scott. I pray for you regularly. Will redouble my efforts! God is merciful, and I know he hears all our prayers. I'm so glad your trip to France went so well. Paul was just in the Paris, France, airport on his way to Africa. Continue to ask God for more days. Don't give up! We won't either! You are a very special person, Sarah, in a good way. :) We love you.
I can't help but think back to our time growing up in Washington state. While I am closer in age to your older siblings, your big smile and friendly energy burn brightly in my memory. (I also seem to remember that you were quite the athlete!) And, yes, little sisters were sometimes "annoying little sisters" -- but there was never a doubt in big brothers' minds that we would always protect "little sisters" (no matter which family they belonged to). This big brother sure wishes he could do that for you now. I am praying for a "Hezekiah" event. I do know from the heart that God loves you move than even 10,000 of us friends and family do, and He always does the right thing. I also know that the manner of faith, perseverance and hope with which you have handled this adversity has created the GPS for the rest of us to follow in our trials. The sheer impact and magnitude of influence you have had on us in these last few years cannot be overstated. So, regardless whether you have Hezekiah's 15 years, less or more, please know how deeply you have affected and helped so many people on their climb to the KOG. We will be thanking you well after Christ's return for that. Love and hugs, little sis.
Sarah, Thank you for posting the update. We are praying for you and the family. Miracles happen everyday and we are praying that God grants you this one. If there is anything we can help you with please let us know. God bless you. Rick & Debbie
Sarah, you and your family have been on my mind A LOT the past week or two. When I can't sleep at night, I pray for you. When you come to mind, I pray for you. And Scott. And the girls. Thank you for sharing your journey and struggles. Your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable have been so encouraging and refreshing; it has also helped me know how to pray for you. I feel like I've gotten to know you so much more than when we both lived in Pasadena. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Thank you for the update.
Dearest Sarah, what a difficult update for you to write and us to read. While we all know that our days on earth are numbered, we all hope for a long life on this earth even as we yearn for eternal life in the future. You have been a precious treasure to so many. Thank you for the time you spent with my dad when he was bedridden and for sharing so much of yourself with so many. You are constantly in our prayers and we ask that God grant you and your family peace, comfort, encouragement and strength as you face this difficult news about your situation. Love & hugs, Linda and family
Dear friend, We are praying for that miracle with you! Thanks for the update and sharing the tough stuff. Hugs to you, Scott and the girls. Mark, Wendi & family
Dear Sarah, I have been wondering how you are doing. I don't like the news you have shared. You have bounced back before and I am hoping and praying for our awesome heavenly Father to send healing and restoration and encouragement. It was so good to see you and Scott a while back. You will continue to be in my prayers.
You have been, are and will continue to be one of the most positive and inspirational women I know. Much love to you and your family. I think about you lots. -joette <3
Lady Sarah, Your courage and strength is like an awesome army with banners facing the wind. And I too, desire with all my heart to put on my battle armour and protect you with all my strenght and help you Prevail. Truely, I am confident that our brother and king feels the same way. Love, joseph
Not even sure what to write, but I will tell you that you have an army of folks praying for you. You are an inspiration in every way and I'm so thankful (and proud) to be a fellow "pumper!" You set a wonderful example. We love you and your family.