It's a Toilet Revolution!
Last night I took my 102nd dose of chemo. That was the last chemo dose for standard of care, which means that I'm now on surveillance (scans every 8 weeks) but no active treatment other than exercise and the keto diet. If, and only if, something shows up in a scan will I need to consider additional treatment. My next scan is set for May 31.
The last round of chemo couldn't have finished off easily, of course. There must be drama. After all, this is ME we are talking about! Anyone who would go off and get a brain tumor to find out how much people love her must finish off chemo in a significant way. The better part of Saturday and yesterday were spent either sitting on or hung over a toilet. Well, unless I was sitting on the toilet and hung over the trashcan in my lap. Today I feel like I have morning sickness, right down to the being too afraid to eat anything. Definitely not wearing my game face today.
So, let's talk about toilets. I've had much toilet time in the last year and I have decided that we must revolutionize how we make and think about toilets. Just as Europeans sometimes take floors and other things Americans would consider part of the house when they move to a new house, we should change our current thought on toilets to "transferable, mobile, and customized for the individual consumer." Hear me out. I'm envisioning companies customizing toilets so that they are exactly the right height for each person. The interchangeable seat would be ergonomically designed to fit the size and shape of the individual's body. If a person loses or gains weight, a seat replacement is available. Each consumer/ homeowner would take their customized toilet with them to their new home. If we think of toilets as appliances, rather than permanent fixtures, this opens up a wide range of opportunity. Ever move into a new home with toilets you don't like? Of course you have- and my guess is that you promptly replaced it. So, for me, as a short person, I dislike using a tall toilet. I have to climb up on it, my feet dangle and sometimes fall asleep, and then I have to hop off all the while waiting for my feet to wake up. I would imagine that tall people using a toilet the right size for me feel like they are in an elementary school restroom. The ergonomic seat is necessary because, as I have learned, the more time you spend on a toilet, the more uncomfortable you become. Other ideas include: 1) a depository for when things are coming from both ends and 2) a mechanism where you can lay down while still sitting on the toilet (for the seriously afflicted). There is a market for this, people. It's not just for cancer patients and active alcoholics either! I have clearly had significant toilet time to think on this issue. Who wants to invest first?!
In 2 weeks we are off to Switzerland to visit friends I've not seen in approximately 30 years. The week following our return, I will have a scan and see my doctors. I will also finally see the dentist at MD Anderson to get my tooth checked out. Until then, I will continue to keto, exercise, meditate, and be livin' la vida glioma!
Comments (24)
You are a funny lady and I am glad you are doing so well. Good idea about the toilet seats though. hahahhaha
Might I recommend Shark Tank phenomenon "Squatty Potty"--an ergonomically correct way to poop. And a height corrector for the vertically challenged: www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/squatty-potty-reg-ecco-toilet-stool/3250796?skuId=42494102&mcid
Love and miss you sweet lady!
Portable pooper? This needs a marketing spin. It is missing a bit of panache.. Also have you seen this ? https://www.squattypotty.com/ Might help you dangling legs. and those of us that have some experience worshipping at the porcelain throne due to excessive imbibing, seems like we would have some ideas about the other but I can't recall anything other than the handy dandy trashcan...
I have had days where I have laid down in the bathroom floor, afraid to leave. I tried to explain how this reminded me of my drinking days but Jason didn't exactly get it. He's been so over protective of his brain cells. Also, the squatty potty is good for the legs but the butt is still uncomfortable on the seat. Especially if your butt is boney.
Congrats on the final chemo! Sorry it had to be so rough! I invested in a toto heated seat with bidet for my toilet just last year- its a good investment, even if it doesn't solve all the problems with toilets. :) Can't wait to see you guys next month, hope your trip to Switzerland is terrific!
And through all this you still have a sense of humor. Have a wonderful trip. By the way the Swiss Laufen toilet is programmable to user profiles and has a lift and lowering devise. Check it out.
There is a lovely feel of the cold tile on your face when you lay on the floor during a fit of nausea. I do remember that. Plus the room seems to spin less that way. And if you accidentally pee your pants it is easier to clean up the mess. God I miss drinking ... NOT....
Ergonomic Toilet seats---there is a study for that! http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/001872088202400608?journalCode=hfsa And here is a highly recommended soft seat with an optional padded back rest. https://www.plumbingsupply.com/comfortable_toilet_seats.html Still no vomitus option. ;-P
This made me laugh. Enjoy Switzerland. I don't know if they exist there, but they do in France and Germany: some rest areas don't even have toilets, just a hole in the ground that you crouch over. They might figure that is better than sitting on an ill-fitting or unsanitary toilet. It can be difficult to balance! Enjoy!
Congratulations on your last dose! That's a lot. Have fun in Switzerland; you deserve it.
I have to say your thoughts on toilets are worthy of consideration by those who engineer homes for all of us. Have a great time in Switzerland!
As a fellow short person with an increasing spread of birthing hips, I'd buy your personal potty idea! May you not have to spend as much time pondering the toilet from here on out. Have a fantastic trip to Switzerland!!!
Boney butts across the world will thank you for your inspirational ideas -- glad you're in marketing! Wishing fast recovery for Switzerland trip -- stay safe. You are on my mind daily. Love you. N.
The toilet seat idea is worth a look, count me in. Have fun on the trip, Love you, Dad
Dear Shannon! don't know much about the new tolit you could invent! But you are such a smart cookie with telling the story! Wish you the best on your road to recovery! Hang in there and live your life with Gods blessing!
Oh, dear girl! You don't need a squatty potty. Leaning forward achieves the same results. You do need a foot stool so your feet don't dangle! Love you, and have a great time in Switzerland! lee
P.S. Do they still make cushioned toilet seats?
Awesome that this is your last dose of chemo!!! And you are hilarious!!
Your sense of humor ceaces to amaze me after all you have been through! GOD is good! Thinking of you
Congrats on the last Chemo treatment. I will keep praying for your healing. Good news is refreshing.❤️
Girl, be glad they're flush toilets, regardless of foodanglingness and jumping down on numb feeties! A friend had a mulching toilet because of their land stopped perking, and that eas one high toilet, and the "material" was way too close to the cheeks for comfort! That being said, the adjustable toilet may be what you might want to patent! I hope you have a splendid time in Switzerland! Bless and Love!
Thinking of you today - kick ass with the scans!!!
I hope you are rockin' the scan today. <3