July 4, 2016. Peace
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. - John 14:27
We were able to find a moment of peace, calmness and comfort to enjoy a few fireworks this evening. It didn't last long, but seeing even a small smile warmed my heart.
I've gone through a variety of emotions the last four days as I've reflected and prepared for tomorrow.
* Anger - that my sweet baby has to go through this and I can't fix it. And I can't answer the big question, why him?
* Frustration - that he's been going through this for over a month and we still don't know exactly what's wrong and things are worse, but nothing that anyone saw coming.
* Sadness - it breaks my heart to see my child going through all of this..the pain he feels inside and out, and wears on his face, and his own sadness that he doesn't feel well and isn't able to do the things he loves. Sadness that he is a totally different kid right now.
* Anxiety - I'm nervous and beyond scared for tomorrow, and the days that follow
*Numbness - such disbelief that we are even going through all of this, sometimes not even letting my mind think about it as I just can't believe it's happiness
* Gratitude - for the amazing support system we have, and for all of those praying for and supporting Cole and our family.
*PEACE - I have come to a feeling of peace. Because I know that God will watch over and hold Cole in his hand tomorrow. I know that He will provide the guidance and support that the medical team will need. I cannot be troubled and afraid for He is a healer and will provide the strength that we, and Cole, need.
My mind and heart have been so full; I've cried several times but also savored every moment with my baby. I must be calm and relax, as it is in God's hands. I shall not let my heart be troubled or afraid..
Cole's surgery will be around 10:30am tomorrow and is expected to go until the afternoon, maybe around 4 hours give or take depending how everything goes. I will provide an update when I am able, although it may be short.
We appreciate all of the prayers for a successful surgery and recovery
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13
Comments (11)
Sending prayers and more prayers. If it is OK I will ask Mary Lois to say a special prayer in the morning at Hope House.
Holding you, your family, and Cole's care team in prayer. You are truly an amazing mommy, he is a lucky little boy.
Prayers and thoughts for strength, health, and comfort. I love you guys💚
Good luck with everything tomorrow. We will be thinking of Cole and hoping for the best.
You are in our continued thoughts and prayers. God will be with you and the surgery team tomorrow. We will pray this will be the road to healing. Bless you and may God give you strength and peace.
Prayers from our family to yours, Cole as well as mom & dad haven't missed a mealtime or bedtime prayer/intention in weeks from our family.
Continued thoughts and prayers are being sent your way. Your strong faith in God will give you strength today and in the days ahead!
We will be praying that all goes well. My God's peace and strength be your rock through this trying time.
Prayers today for Cole, the doctors, you, and Steve. Today will be tough but you will all get through it and get on the road to healing! I'm so glad you have your faith to help you get through this. I am positive it is making a difference! Thank you for keeping us posted today.
Beautiful as you face this unimaginably challenging day. May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
Praying for you today Cole. You are strong and the most courageous little boy! Love, Juli