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Latest journal entry

Chronic Pain is NO JOKE!


Chronic Pain is NO JOKE. I have been suffering for the last 2-3 weeks with a major pain flare in my back and side. My 20 mg Baclofen 3 times a day would not touch it. Nothing would touch it. It got to the point that I had difficulty sitting up and putting one foot in front of the other was literally excrutiating and each step was like getting sliced across my back from hip to hip. Sitting, laying down, shifting from hip to hip....nothing was working. My neck felt like it was being twisted off my shoulders the spasms were so bad at one point it made me vomit.

I couldn't sit anywhere that gave me relief. It is so hard to think when hurting that bad. It's hard to reconcile how I would be able to survive this for the rest of my life.

I went to my husband and I really try not to complain but told him I may have to go to the emergency room if something doesn't happen soon as I could not quite bear it. I decided to take a Flexeril at night, a Baclofen twice a day and a Flexeril in the evening again. On the 4th day of this combination I finally woke up and was able to walk to the bathroom without leaning heavily on my cane. Sitting down on the toilet without that cutting feeling ripping across my hips was delightful and nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Ever hurt so much that if you think you feel relief you are afraid to move from that spot so that pain doesn't come rushing back in? Ever hurt so intensely that you literally have no tears left to give? Yeah I was at that point.

My back has never stopped hurting since the wreck. I don't know if it ever will. I do know though that even though I say I am glad to feel pain because it means I can feel....I want to amend that and remind myself to respect my personal limits and just radically accept this chronic pain business by trying to manage this much more efficiently.

Still hurting, but at least I can move a bit more freely tonight and actually post something.