Progressing

As you've read in previous entries, all of us in the family are taking turns heading out to Montana to spend time with Eric and J... and also to help them make life a little smoother (yes, brothers and sisters CAN be helpful from time to time).  I've just returned from my week there and am still struggling a bit to comprehend it all... I'm so damn grateful for the time I got to spend with them... and so heart-sick for what I see happening too.

In so many ways Eric is as Eric has always been; so kind (says thank you for everything... even the fist full of pills you give him to swallow), so quick witted (never misses an opportunity for a math joke or to attach a Talladega Nights quote), such dry humor even at his own expense (his misbehaving right arm/leg provides ample material for this), and of course, his amazing intellect (on full display as I sat quietly trying... and failing... to follow the conversation between him and his visiting friend John, a chemistry professor). 

But in other ways, the brain tumor is rearing its ugly head more everyday too.  

I watched in dismay as he moved from walking with the help of a walker and my assistance when I first arrived, to surrendering 100% to a wheel chair by the last couple days of my visit.  We had a couple "outings" but they truly are pretty exhausting for him now.  One was an early afternoon trip downtown to pick up some very AWESOME grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch.  On another day J and I took him swimming at a nearby health club; it was spectacular to see him have an hour or so of freeing mobility in the pool and relaxation in the hot tub.  I know he enjoys getting out, yet the truth is that even just the transitions from house to car, car to location, location to car and car back to house can take hours for him to prepare for and follow through with... and the physical and mental toll on him afterwards is obvious.  BIG naps followed each of these adventures and the physical fatigue lasts well into the next day.

Eric is beginning to have challenges with his speech too.  if you've talked with him in the last few days, you'll note that he's talking slower, beginning to slur his words and is challenged in getting out the words he wants.  But don't for a second think that his sharp mind isn't still there. He told me he is simply just talking in cursive (there's that wit and humor again). We spent whole days putting music and lyrics to the various activities of the moment and then challenging each other as to who the artist/band is that sings the song.  Being two kids from the 80s, we had PLENTY of good material to work with...  although I did get him with a Steve Winwood song (hey, don't judge!)

There are other signs that this mean SOB is having its way with Eric too, but I think you get the picture.  I know this is hard to read... believe me it is hard to write... but I know Eric and J aren't hiding from all of this. It is what it is and they are rolling with it... so we are too.  And you all should know that there are so many good people in their lives helping them out.  Friends from work stopping by for coffee, neighborhood friends bringing dog treats as an excuse to make some small talk for a few minutes, friends making food (Ted's breakfast burritos are pretty killer), the next door neighbor coming by daily to take Aspen on 2 hour mountain hikes... and more.  So, while my heart aches for how this disease progresses in him more noticeably by the day, my heart sings too at seeing Eric and J's community of friends continue to circle around them.  It helps me  to know that even though I can't be there with them everyday, so many good people ARE there.  and I know this is a testament to all of the impact my brother has made on the world... the world is paying it back to him now.