Road Trippin'

Ohhh I am so far behind in updating all of you wonderful people and I apologize. I'm just a little behind on life. Things over here are moving along, although definitely at a slower pace than I would like. The hospital bed in the dining room is gone, as is the feeding tube and the nursing visits are done so I don't feel like a patient on a daily basis, for which I am grateful. I started driving again so that's another step in the right direction. The super great news is that the tumor and cancer are gone and I will not need radiation or chemo which was the best news we ever could have heard! When my surgeon told us (my mom and sis were with me) that he was able to get everything and the margins were clear there were lots of tears and hugs with him and my sweet nurse and each other and it was such a huge sense of relief. Amen, everyone. A-freaking-MEN. I'll continue to get scans every 3 months and I actually have the first set scheduled for a few weeks from now so of course there is anxiety there that it will show up somewhere else, but the chances of that are slim. (Then again, the chances of any of this insanity happening were slim, so who the hell knows. I'm just not going to stress about the unknown.)
What lies ahead are several reconstructive surgeries to fix my face, which honestly looks better than we thought it would but definitely needs some work. When they created the new jaw from my fibula and added the skin graft to serve as the roof of my mouth, it all blended and healed together. It's really hard to explain, but you normal folks can move your tongue from the last molar on the right along all of your teeth to the last molar on the left (I know you all just did that) but I cannot because the new gum healed to the inside of the lip. There's probably no point in trying to explain it but the reconstruction involves "releasing" the lip, implanting screws to the new jaw that will ultimately hold hooks that will hold dentures. It is NUTS. And after that they will fix my nose which, as of last week, lost the cartilage between the nostrils so now it's basically a hole in the nose. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. AND I need a root canal done on one of the two remaining molars I have on the top right AND I need invisilign for the bottom teeth to create and maintain a perfectly aligned bite. Can you believe it? When they told me they needed to make the bottom teeth straighter all I could picture was Tutti from the Facts of Life with her braces and headgear. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUZZ IS HAPPENING?!?! I alternate between laughing and crying about it because it is just so insane. I am tired of it though, really. Enough already.

BUT, I am going on a little trip!!! Blowing this joint for a few days! I'm actually writing this from a plane on my way to Nashville. One of my dearest friends is on tour and I am meeting her in Nashville and we are driving through the Smoky's to Charleston, SC. I am so excited. Just 5 days of no doctors, no phone calls to the insurance company, no paperwork, no nonsense. Just Thelma and Louise and Mila the Dog. There will be laughing (and probably some crying) and nature and millions of stars and beauty and SINGING. You guys, I'm singing again and OH MY LORD does it feel good. My sweet 89 year old great aunt passed away last week and she asked me years ago to sing at her funeral so I just got myself together and sang Amazing Grace and it was an absolute blessing in so many ways. Such an honor. I didn't care about anything other than the two of us having that moment together in the sacred house of worship that was so beloved to her. And on a selfish note, standing up there and singing that song was the most free that I have felt in a year and a half. I felt like I stepped back into a part of myself that I put on a shelf in November 2014, unsure if or when I would be able to touch it again. But I did and I'll never forget that moment. Bye the way, this also means that I'm back to interrupting people's sentences with a broadway showtune that was somehow connected to a word they said, so just be prepared for that to happen. 

This part of my journey, especially connecting with other young people with cancer, has forced me to step back, reevaluate, really take in the fact that life is so damn short and think about what I would do if nothing was holding me back.
I would go live in London for a while.
I would do humanitarian work.
I would have dinner with Adele and Emma Thompson because I think we would get on brilliantly and should be friends.
So I hope to do all of those things and more. Including the Adele/Emma dinner.
I continue to be in a constant state of gratitude for a support network that is incredible. Dear friends that are supporting me in ways I never could have imagined, who continue to send me cards from Switzerland to Amsterdam and California to Colorado and prayers from all over the place. A family that extends far beyond my immediate family to include aunts and uncles and cousins upon cousins. Bless all of your hearts. My heart is full because of you.
I leave you with this http://youtu.be/ipBGcjY_1rE
Xx
K