Another detour
Hi friends and fam.
Just wanted to a drop a quick note to loop you in a bit. It's been a while since I've written and a lot has happened over the last few weeks.
As some of you know, I’ve been gearing up for my facial reconstruction and working hard (lots of therapy, y'all) to get to a place where I feel like I can emotionally handle what will likely be a pretty intense physical process. Two weeks ago I had a battery of scans and imaging as part of the pre-op planning and it seems we have run into a road block.
The scans are showing 3 nodules on my left lung that, due to size, location and calcification, are rather worrisome. Obviously nothing can officially be determined until the nodules are removed and biopsied so I am doing my best to stay positive. My doctors believe that right now surgery is the solution, regardless of whether or not this is cancer rearing it's head again. They will take them out and we will all be pleasantly surprised if it’s nothing but also be prepared if it is something.
My oncologist feels that if it has indeed metastasized the surgery will likely be enough and chemo will not be be necessary, which is a huge relief (🙌🏼) Regardless, I will begin to get scans every 12 weeks and they will be watching me like a hawk. All of my doctors feel very confident that this is a treatable situation and I take great comfort in that.
Things are moving quickly and I will be having surgery tomorrow, Tuesday, at 10am at Hospital of University of Pennsylvania. The surgery (a walk in the park compared to the others!) is only about 45 minutes long and results in a 5" incision down the back and 3-5 days in the hospital, but the overall recovery is 6 weeks which is pretty significant.
I once again feel like I’m in an alternate universe but also am keenly aware that this could be a much worse situation so I’m grateful they found it and grateful to have amazing doctors that are compassionate and kind and as smart as they come. I also continue to have an incredible support system in my family and friends and have already been bombarded with love and support in just the past 48 hours alone.
Overall, I’m doing ok. I think. Kind of depends on the moment. It's been an insane 2 weeks. Some moments I feel level headed and other moments I feel like I could punch a wall. I'm frustrated and annoyed. I'm TIRED. The kind of tired that leaves me snappy and irritable and weepy and just not the most pleasant person to be around. I'm tired of appointments and scans and bloodwork that leaves me with painful bruises on my arms. I'm tired of the insurance company denying my PET scan because they don't think it's "medically necessary." And I'm already in the process of retaining a healthcare attorney because I've been informed that my facial reconstruction is "elective dental" and therefore will not be covered (can you EVEN?!?!?!). So it kind of feels like I'm fighting a lot and I don't like that. It doesn't resonate with my spirit and I'm trying to find a balance so I'm just doing my best day by day, moment by moment...as we all are.
I'll selfishly ask for your thoughts and prayers again as I head into this next phase. I'm so grateful for you.
Wishing you love and all good things,
xx kaytie
Comments (15)
oh Kaytie- I will continue to say prayers, think good thoughts, send positive vibes and all that other stuff! I'm so glad you are getting a healthcare attorney - let them help be your advocate. You concentrate on getting better so I can bring Aaron to hear you sing again :) He still talks about the day we say my friend sing at PSU. Love you KaytieO!!! I'm so sorry to hear about this detour.
Oh Kaytie, we love you so so much. We are right here alongside you as you tackle this next hurdle. So thankful you are with good doctors and have your family and friends there close. Sending you all of the strength we have your way. Infinite Xs and Os. Kir & Amanda
Been looking for you, Kir!!! Email [email protected] (Dana McCurley)
Our prayers and best wishes are with you! Hugs and love surround you! You are an incredibly brave woman and continue to be positive and fight and know we are all fighting with you!
Love you Kaytie ❤️❤️🌹 Praying 🙏🏻! May God’s healing hands be with you in this journey 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️🌹
Dearest Kaytie! Durn it! Love you so so much. Will be thinking of you and praying for you. You are so strong. Love you. Did I mention I love you?
Well what the Fuck! I’m so sorry Kaytie that you have been dealt another blow but believe that this is as you say “a detour” in your journey and you will be back on your path ASAP. You have shown us all what courage and strength truly are and I’m sending you love and light with every ounce of my being. Love you Kaytie! Xo Joanna
Kaytie, You are by far the strongest person I know. You have dealt with everything life has handed you with grace. But the world isn't as kind as you are, and sometimes it requires getting a bit angry to make progress. Don't feel bad for fighting or for getting angry that a fight is required...indeed, it's what you need to do to get through and get justice. That being said, remember that you are surrounded by love tomorrow and every day. I love you , Sweetie. And I'm sending you all the damn hugs! Love, Dana
Thinking of you and sending you prayers. You are amazing.
Kaytie.. Emailed with Mom this week about your surgery... have already started praying for a good result and easy recovery.. It breaks my heart to know you have another surgery.. Please know I Love you and i'll keep praying.. Easy for me to say, keep strong Kaytie.. Much love and lots of prayers coming your way.. XO
Kaytie Scarlett, all I could do was just sigh and let out a quiet WTF when I read this. I am praying that the nodules are a benign nuisance and you are on the road to recovery and getting yourself back to that comfortable balance that you had just a few weeks ago. I wish I could take your fatigue for you. I wish I could build the biggest wall for you to punch. I wish that you have no more roadblocks, detours, bumps in the road - only smooth paths from here on out. Thinking of you, praying for you, and sending so much love! ❤️
Have never stopped holding you up to God every morning since your journey began, and I continue to do so.
"um, excuse me, this is not what I ordered." and yet here it is. sending you the deepest permission to be tired, fed up, cranky, and pissed, and a big gust of wind in your wings to keep up the fight and find the gift in whatever shitty dish life is dishing up today. loving you a ton from here. let's accidentally (on purpose) run into each other on the east coast and go to a musical with Missa! <3
Damn it. That was not what I was expecting. Kaytie, love, you continue to amaze me with your strength. Don’t ever feel badly or apologize for getting angry. As I read this, I realized you have already had your surgery. I hope it went well and recovery is going well. Sending lots of love and prayers and positive energy.
I'm thinking of you daily... praying for you, hoping that this last surgery went smoothly and looking forward to an update when you are ready. Sending you so much love Kaytie! <3 <3 <3