Round 3, Day 9
It's official, Day 9 is a terrible day for Mike. And for all of us.
He got the Neulasta shot on Monday afternoon. By Tuesday morning he was feeling pretty bad.
At one point in the afternoon, today, I asked him, "Are you upset with me about something, or are you just feeling that bad?" He said it was how "Icky" he was feeling. He pretty much hadn't spoken at all today or last night. I hate this. I hate that he feels so sick he can't talk. I hate that he feels all of the things that he's feeling. I hate that I'm feeling all of the things that I'm feeling, and I really hate that Molly cried tonight telling Mike, "Daddy, I miss you so much when you're gone."
Lately, I catch myself dreaming of when life was simple. I didn't think it was simple at the time, but it seems like it now. I want to be care free again. I want to feel like ME again. I'm asking myself, "who am I?" "what am I doing with my life?" "am I a good enough wife? mother? daughter? daughter in law? sister? friend?" These tough days for Mike are tough days for me, too. I haven't felt very strong, and I keep thinking...I want to run away.
Obviously, I am not going to. I know that things will get better. Next week he will be feeling a little better and all of the feelings I'm having will subside. When he is well, and happy, I am well and happy.
It doesn't look like he's getting the CT scan this week, like we were initially told. Most likely it will be next week, which is fine, because he doesn't feel good enough to go to KC anyways. We do have to go down there Friday for blood work.
The girls are on Spring Break this week, but I haven't taken them to do anything too exciting. I do have to say, though, sleeping in every morning this week has been pretty nice. Molly isn't a morning person, just like her mom, and not having to fight her to get out of bed has been one of the few treats we've had this week.
We've had some delicious dinners all week, and I am SO thankful for that. I can't remember if I've mentioned my level of expertise in the kitchen.. it ranges from a 0.5-2, I'd say. I could never thank everyone enough for helping us out. It has truly been amazing.
Mike loved reading all of the names on the poster board from the benefit. I felt sad for him, because he said it was like his birthday party that he couldn't attend. I enjoyed passing on all of the messages of well wishes and prayers to him from so many of his friends and family. He is a pretty lucky guy.
I am an even luckier girl. I can't wait until the days when I'm annoyed that he is working late and isn't home in time to eat my so-so dinner I made him....
XoXo
Robin
Comments (7)
Hang tough you both got this!
Love you both and just wish we could do more!! You have a wonderful family!!! Hang in there!!!
I Mike will be well again, it must be tuff on everyone, I knw it was for me when Karen was in the hospital with the Brain tumor while I was working at KU Med. I am so grateful that I still have Her with me. One day you will feel the same when Mike is all better. We will keep you all in our prayers.
You're doing so well. All of this is normal and you're reminding yourself that bad days will always end and be followed by better ones. I distinctly remember being in Mike's shoes - feeling left out, because I was too sick to go maple sugaring with my family. I was so upset. Guess what, this year I went twice!! Keep your eyes on the good days ahead. Also, I got connected with a cancer patient support program through my hospital. They have great therapists for patients and support people. It helped to talk with someone and to hear how normal these feelings are. Make sure to check out what is available to you! Take care, Jess
Robin and Mike, If it weren't for winter, we wouldn't enjoy spring; if it weren't for being sick, we wouldn't enjoy our health. Too bad we have to go through that cycle but apparently God thinks you can handle it. I know, some days He's a little too confident. LOL! I hope you can feel the love and support we are sending to you through our thoughts and especially prayers. Robin, you are doing a fantastic, amazing job in all your roles you're juggling. No one could do it better! I am so sorry you and Mike and those 3 adorable children are going through this, but it will make you all stronger and will be there for others who face the same in the future. God is using you to show others how to handle it! I truly believe that.
Well I was going to comment but reading Mom's comment just made me cry so there's that. I love you and I wish I could be at your side every step of the way so you never have to feel overwhelmed! I'm only a text or call away!
Robin....you definitely deserve some jokes today (and to be honest....everyday). 1.) A doctor is looking over his/her patient and say: "I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol." The patient being very understanding says: "That's ok doc. I will come back when you are sober." 2.) Q. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? A. Philippe Philoppe. Can you please tell Mike that I trademarked all these jokes....so don't let him go passin' these off as his own!