Sunday, 4-3-16, Wrapping Up Round 3.

Here we are again, finding ourselves a little irritable as another round gets checked off the calendar. Not irritable that it's almost over, but irritable because of the week that lies ahead of us. Sundays and Mondays before Mike goes back into the hospital seem hard, which you'll think is weird because they are the days that he's feeling his best. I guess it's just the anxiety of knowing that this whole cycle is starting over again.

I love seeing Mike get up in the mornings, get dressed, and head out the door to get a few things done in preparation for planting time. The last 3 days he had worked on the planter, talked a lot of farm talk on the phone, and enjoyed some time outside with the kids and I. I want to bottle it up and open it for him when he needs it on the hard days.

We had an appointment at the clinic last Friday and got our schedule figured out for this month. Part of me feels excited to go through the whole month because it makes it feel close to the end. Another part of me feels like, "ugh. a whole month to get through before the last month." My mood changes with the wind. So anyways, the appointment went pretty well. His labs were great and he stayed conscious the entire time. Everyone was glad to see him upright and joking around. One nurse said, "Hey! You're back!" Mike replied, "Yep, I'm back. Not on my back. Just back." He's always quick to make a joke.

Last week Mike had a day where he told me he wanted to give up. He didn't feel good and he was really down about the fact that he didn't have the strength to push the kids on the swing. I told him he's completely entitled to feeling like that... for a day. I said, "Just get through today, and hope for a better tomorrow." And that's what he did. And you know what, that next day was better. I'm trying to remember my own advice from time to time, too. Even on the hardest of days, we just have to do what we can do to get to the next day. The sun will come up again and everything can look different.

As I hang out in the living room tonight, unable to sleep, Mike is sound asleep with Molly & Lucy in our bed. Even Milo snuck in there, somehow. It's those little things that have really changed around here. It's no longer a big deal, or stressful, trying to get the girls to sleep in their own beds. They're only little for a few years. We have definitely had our eyes and hearts opened up to the most important things. Cuddling with our kids tops the list of favorite things.  I even tried to tell myself that as Reid was awake wanting to hang out from 1:30am-4:45am a couple mornings (nights) ago. At least he was being sweet and kept giving me a Mike a kiss and saying, "Night Night."

Ok, I've got myself all pumped up and ready to tackle this week now. Let's get it over with, cross one more week off. After this round Mike gets a PET Scan done to hopefully declare him cancer free. We're almost there!!

Thanks for journeying with us. Thanks for the thoughts, prayers, cards, donations, meals, love, encouragement .... all of it. I mean it. Thank you.

Oh, and why not throw a Lucy funny out there.... When you read the conversation, imagine the sass of a 4 year old in her voice. She's brushing her teeth and we tell her to flip her little sand timer. She says, "You want to know WHY I'm not using that timer?" Mike, "Why, Lucy?" Lucy smartly replies, "Because it takes TOO LONG!"

Xoxo

Robin