Emotions. I Got 'Em |7-29-16|

When I feel joy, I feel like I'm soaring. And I cry. When I feel sorrow, I feel like I'm drowning. And I cry. When I feel gratitude, however, I just can't explain it. So I cry. And today I broke down in tears every time I tried to express my gratitude towards bone marrow donors.

Thursday night, Mike was running a temp of 100.0. The rule is that we head to the hospital if it gets to 100.5 or higher. Luckily, it never did go up any higher, but it made for a nervous night. Friday morning, then, we had an appointment with Dr. Ganguly to go over our next steps. I was nervous that Mike would be running high temperature again, and they would put him in the hospital. Everything checked out great, though, and we had nothing to worry about. His labs looked great today, and the doctor was very pleased with the progress he is making. Progress. I can hardly believe it.

We were disappointed to find out that Mike's brother Tom wasn't a match to be his donor. This would have been Mike's best chance at accepting the transplant with the least risk of complications. There was good news though, and that was that there were a few potential unrelated matches for Mike and 2 that the doctors were very happy with as donor candidates. The one that was the best possible match was a 38yr old male, with several of the qualifying factors all lining up. They chose him as the 1st one because the 2nd possible choice was a 43 yr old male, and although his factors all lined up as well, they would prefer a younger person. Unfortunately, the doctor saw that the 38yr old male donor had chosen to not have his bone marrow harvested,(where they take the bone marrow from your hip bone) and only donate by peripheral bone marrow collection (like giving blood.) They would prefer to get collect the stem cells from the bone marrow by harvesting it, so they have decided to contact Candidate #2, the 43 year old male. This sorta feels like a dating game, doesn't it?

We are hoping that he will be available during the dates that we need him. Can you even imagine relying so heavily on someone you don't even know, to make that decision if they will save your husband's life or not? What if he has a vacation planned for that week? What if.... It's so stressful to even think about. I feel so emotional over the whole thing.

This person, Bachelor #2, joined the Bone Marrow Registry, who knows how long ago, and who knows for what reason. Did he know someone personally who needed a donor? Did he see a facebook post about it and think, "Wow, I could do that for someone. Sign me up." Did he go in to give blood and sign up to be a bone marrow donor too, just because he was there?

Whatever his reasons, I am in awe that someone we don't know, who lives out of this country, could answer a phone call and say, "Yeah! I'll do whatever you need me to do and give this guy a chance at a cure. A chance at LIFE." Can you even wrap your head around this? I know I'm having a hard time doing it.

We don't get any of his personal information, but we could potentially get in contact within 1-2 years post transplant. Up until then, it all has to remain anonymous, if we want to communicate with him. Can I send him an anonymous hug? Kiss? Tell him I love him for being so selfless? I hope he doesn't have a vacation scheduled, or ride a motorcycle. I'm so nervous, already! I'm going to mail him some bubble wrap just to help him stay safe. Too much?

We had some good (but also terrifying) conversations with the transplant coordinator about what we're looking at as far as the stem cell transplant goes. The next 2 weeks will be busy with evaluations and those kinds of things. He has to get a different transfusion port placed in his chest, which is where he will get the hardcore chemo and also the stem cells through. He has to have an echo, a pet or ct scan, a dental xray (checking for possible infections) and we have to go to a 3 hour class to learn about the transplant process, and how to be a caregiver for him during this time.

The scary part was the time frame. So, once he goes into the hospital to start the chemo and radiation to wipe his cells out, then he will have to stay in there for 3-4 weeks. He will get the new stem cells on Day 0. The 7 days of chemo leading up to transplant day will be Day -7, Day -6, and so forth. After a month in the hospital, we will move to the Hope Lodge where Mike will have to stay, pretty much in isolation, for the next 100 days. Dr. Ganguly said to talk to him on Day 96 and see if he's feeling lenient, and maybe Mike could get out early on good behavior, and good labs.

It's going to be hard. We know that. Being sick for over a year has been hard on him, too though, and I know he's just ready to get on with it, and get on with his life. I feel so fortunate that we made it this far. As I was saying to a friend, I feel like we just got out of the trenches, feeling free, only to see the enormous mountain in front of us that we still have to climb. We will get there, though. The girls are starting school at a new school this year, and I don't know how they will adjust to all of these changes and chaos. I think they'll be ok, though. We have so many people offering to help, that I am beyond grateful. So many good people in this world. I'm talking to you, Bachelor #2! Don't let me down!

Oh and one last note, if you saw the picture up above, our awesome friends are having a fish fry (benefit) on Saturday, August 27th. It'd be awesome if you at least went to eat the food- trust me- it's delicious!!!

I better get to bed before Reid wakes up and comes into my bed. Tonight is his first night in his new bed. I doubt he stays in there all night, but I am up always game for his snuggles, but the kicks in the face, and elbows to my nose aren't that easy to fall asleep to.

xoxo

Robin