A Day Closer |8-8-16|

Mike had chemo on Friday, and everything went well. It went better than well, actually. It was the best day of treatment that he's had. A friend from Mike's childhood, Mick Remondino was in town and came to visit for a few hours. He and Mike hadn't seen each other in almost 20 years, so it was great for them to catch up. Mike had told me about all of the fun times the two of them had shared as kids, so it was fun for me to finally meet him.

Also on Friday, Dr. Ganguly gave us the game plan for the next couple weeks. As long as everything goes well, and as planned, Mike will be admitted next Tuesday, the 16th, and begin radiation on the 17th. We should be finding out in the next day or so if the hospital near Bachelor #2 is able to do his stem cell collection on the dates we need. If they are, then that end of things is in place. The other piece of the puzzle is the results from the tests that he will have tomorrow. He gets a PET scan, a chest xray, a panorex of his jaw and teeth, an echo, an ekg, and labs. They want to make sure that he is as healthy as possible before they completely wipe him out with radiation and chemo next week.

Last Tuesday was the transplant education class. I told Mike when we left that I don't know how everyone stayed in that room and listened to it. I wanted to get up and run. It was a lot of information. This is a big deal, and at times I don't know how we're going to do it. We were the youngest ones in there, and the only ones with small children. I was envious of the people who only had to worry about themselves. I know I've said it before, but it's the juggling of schedules, and wanting to be with the kids, but also with Mike that is so stressful and emotional for me. Mike's first day of radiation is also Molly's first day of Kindergarten. How can I be in 2 places at once? Mike wants me to be there for Molly, though, and so I will, but I will be feeling like I'm failing him as a wife at the same time. I hate the idea of not being with the kids very much during these next 3-4 months. I hate that I will always be feeling like I'm letting someone down. I'm scared of how this time apart is going to affect our family. I am also grateful. I'm grateful for Mike's parents and my parents for being able to take the incredibly important job of caring for, and loving our kiddos. I'm grateful that we have friends that  I can call when I need someone to help. I'm grateful for Mike's friends who have volunteered to take the caregiver education class, so they can give me a break and spend time with him. I'm grateful for everyone who has helped us this far, and will continue to lift us up in these coming months.

This morning I asked Mike what are the main things we need to accomplish in this last week. It feels so surreal planning for him to leave. My heart breaks for all of the courageous military families out there. I can't even imagine what it feels like to send your husband, wife, father, or child off for months, or even years. I'm still going to get to be with Mike, but I feel like he's leaving our family and it hurts my heart. The silver lining is that he is going to get to come home to live the future that he wasn't going to be given, if it weren't for this transplant. That is what is going to get us through. Mike has plans for next summer, for our family, and we're going to keep our eye on the prize. 3.5 months really isn't that long in the grand scheme of life, but it will feel like it from time to time. It will feel like it when I am desperately missing the hugs and smothering kisses from the 3 children that we've brought into this world. They're the reason we're fighting, anyways. So we can get smothered in more hugs and kisses for the rest of the years.

I better go get to living and enjoying them. The week is going to go fast, and before we know it, it will be Christmas and Mike will be home again. Eye on the Prize.

xoxo

Robin