Bill’s Five Rules for Calling on Shannon. 3/3/16

Shannon and I would like to thank everyone who has already stopped by to say hi to us.  It has really helped to pick up our spirits and give us a break from all the fun we are having talking to the doctors about cancer.  I want to let all of our previous visitors know that this post is not directed at them but as we enter a new phase of Shannon's treatment I felt it important to set some ground rules laid as her health is my number one concern.  

Shannon needs to be focused on healing and a part of that is visiting with family and friends and part of that is just resting and let the chemo and her own body do the work of beating this rotten ass disease into submission and remission.   Please don't be offended if we don't respond to your visit request right away, turn it down or cancel it once you are in the car on the way over.   Shannon may be feeling great in the morning, and then not so hot in the afternoon.  How she was feeling may have changed from when we set up your visit.

These rules are non-negotiable. (Shannon said that this was heavy handed but I thought I was being subtle, we will let you decide)

Bill’s Five Rules for Calling on Shannon.
Here is a handy dandy guide to stay on Bill’s good side AND keep our favorite girl healthy.

1)  Make absolutely, positively, 100% certain you are healthy.

Whether from the chemo, the stress of the illness, or the cancer itself, Shannon is going to have a compromised immune system. A little bug or a sniffle that might put you a bit under the weather could have serious repercussions for Shannon’s health. Keep your sniffle-ly nose to yourself. If your kid stayed home sick yesterday that's a good indication that staying would be a good idea.

IMPORTANT:

Wash in. Wash out. When you enter the house or hospital room you MUST wash or use hand sanitizer foam prior to entering.  Wash or foam them again on your way out. It’s a good practice.

2)  Make contact in advance.

Please don’t just “Drop by.” You never know what kind of day Shannon will be having. We would like you to make contact via text message to Bill first. You might not get an answer. Don’t drop by ‘just to see if everything is all right.’ Most likely, Shannon is getting some sleep or Bill is managing her care.

We all know Shannon is such a kind hearted soul she has a hard time saying no or could you please leave, “I’m feeling a little tired.”  If she is looking tired, please cut your visit short.

Cancer, and cancer treatment, are exhausting beyond words. How exhausting?  Imagine laying in bed and thinking that you would like to get a glass of water from the kitchen. By the time you go there and back you feel like you have run a marathon.  Routine daily activities around the house that seem easy can feel like climbing a mountain.

3)  Time limit your visit.

When you text to see if there is a good time to visit, give a limit. “Shannon, is there a good time today or tomorrow for me to stop by for a twenty-minute visit?” When those twenty minutes are up, get up and go. If Shannon wants you to stay longer, she’ll let you know. When you visit we feel as if we are the host. Just to burn the mental energy required to be “the host” is a huge drain on very limited psychological resources.

4)  Contact Bill about gifts.

Before you bring anything with you, contact Bill. Radiation and chemotherapy play havoc with the senses, it’s be to check in advance. We like to feed our friends and family when times are tough. Ask if there is anything special you could bring, and anything specific you should avoid. What was appealing yesterday might not be so appealing as the next.

5)  Physical contact. Ask first.

Cancer hurts. Sometimes, the pain cannot be imagined. Sometimes, a hug can be agony. Sometimes, you need a hug, a bit of human warmth and contact to remind you that you’re not alone. So ask before you hug. Pro-tip: Use Shannon’s hug as your guide. If Shannon opts for a hug, when she moves in for a hug, match her squeeze but a little softer. If you opt for a hand-squeeze, be just as gentle. Hard to believe, but some cancers cause such deep-seated bone pain that even a too-firm yet loving squeeze of the hand is agony.

With these 5 simple rules as your guide, Bill just might let you see her and/or come back for a second visit.   Thank you in advance for playing by the rules.