Sometimes bad days bring good news… 3/11/16

…AKA look for the silver lining.

I have to admit last Tuesday was a rocky day.  From the stroke of midnight, Tuesday decided we were going to be at odds with each other, ALL DAY.  I had been to my first post chemo cancer clinic appointment on Monday and was having a pretty good day aside from being informed that by the end of the month I would no longer have a job.  At clinic they checked my blood work to see how I was handling the first round of chemo and if I was healthy enough to have a port implanted and remove the PICC line. From the results it looked like my numbers were not quite where my doctors wanted them and I would be stuck with the PICC line dangling out of my arm for the next round of chemo.  During my appointment we discussed the upcoming treatment.  My doctor said that because the first round had gone so well I had two options, go with the same chemo drug I did in round one or turn this show up to 11 and clobber my cancer with the heaviest chemo option available.  It wasn’t really a question in my mind, I said “giddy up, let’s do this” and I opted for the most aggressive chemo drugs offered.  I was sent on my way to wait for next Monday and the start of my next round of chemo.  I tried not to think about having lost a job I had put so much of my heart, soul and effort into.  What hurt more, was knowing that I would have to inform my team of smart, hardworking, and dedicated women that they too would be out of job. 

I still don’t know what triggered it.  If was stress or welcome to chemo this is your new normal, despite my medication I couldn’t get comfortable.  I had aches and pains that would not let me relax even though the rest of my body kept telling me that I was exhausted.  My PICC line was clogged and I got a bloody nose wouldn’t quit.  I called the cancer clinic for advice and they thought I should be seen right away.  The problem was they didn’t have any openings until Friday so they recommended Urgent Care. 

Bill and I headed down to the nearest Urgent Care Clinic where we got in line to be seen behind and entire waiting room full of sick people and kids running around coughing on everything.  At check in we were told that it would be at least a 2 hour wait and Bill informed me in his best papa bear voice “you’ll be waiting in the car.”  He would subject his healthy immune system to the barrage of coughs, worn out germ covered waiting room chairs in the waiting room. True to their word, 2 hours later Bill came out to the car and woke me up to inform me that my name had been called. He joked that he would need to burn his clothes when he got home.  The nurse came in and did the usual questions, blood pressure and temperature then we waited for the doctor.  When the doctor came in we told him about the PICC being clogged and a panic set in over his face as there was no one at the Urgent Care clinic trained to use a PICC line said that Bill had more training on it than any of the staff there.  (EEEK) 

We discussed some of my side effects and that the on cologyteam wanted lab work done to see if my counts were holding steady.  With the duration of my bloody nose it had them a little worried.  Since no one at the Urgent Care had training to access my PICC I got the honor of having afresh needle poke to have my labs drawn. When the results came back we found that one of my levels has shown improvement and I could have a port-a-cath implanted into my chest.  As disgusting as a port sounds, it would be nice to not have this double-lumen PICC dangling from the inside of my bicep getting clogged and having air bubbles along with generally grossing my out.  Being that there was nothing more they could do for me at Urgent Care the doctor handed my lab results to Bill, asked him how they looked, didn’t really wait for a response and sent us on our way.   

Having been at Urgent Care for over 4 hours through what would have been our dinner I could see the hanger building in Bill’s eyes.  I asked him what he was in the mood for and he said he didn’t care he just needed to eat. We needed to find something that would work with the diet my doctors had recommended and I thought Italian would work for both of us.  We called ahead to Red’s Savoy on W 7th and asked if they did food to go and they said they did.  When we got there Bill got us a couple of menus and we stood at the bar figuring out what to order.  Once we had our order, Bill walked up to the hostess who was on the phone informing the person on the other end that the kitchen closed at 9:30, it was 9:35. Bill calmly placed the menu’s down and we went to Lund’s and got some frozen pasta dinner.  Eating our pasta dinner together looking at the lights of St. Paul turned out to be the best part of the day.

The next morning, I received a call from the cancer clinic informing me that due to my improved lab results I would be having an outpatient procedure that Friday to have my PICC removed and a port implanted.  Though it is small, these signs of encouragement make me feel good about the direction I am heading.  The lab results also indicated that I would be able to continue on with the plan of taking the most aggressive route possible.  Round two of chemo starts on Monday.

While Tuesday was really cloudy I’ve got my sunglasses on looking for the sunny side of life!