This is the Very Moment I Need to Post - Why?

Hmmm . . . when do I post a journal entry and when do I not?  These are  the types of things that continuously flow through the mind of BLG.  Then all of a sudden it's clear to me while I am working on organizing the questions for a Cyber Panel I am moderating on Monday - I post when it helps me!!!  So here I am completely behind on my panel and all these intelligent, amazing panel participants are waiting for my questions for Monday, I need to post on this blog now.

Why did I come up with this epiphany at this very moment that this was the appropriate time to post you ask, especially since it is 7:00 am in Vancouver, I need to get in the shower for a day full of meetings, I am completely behind on responding to emails, voicemails, my panel is Monday and I am still working on the plan for 2016?  Because, because, because . . . I started texting my husband feeling like the worst mom and wife in the world.  I have been traveling since Monday and I have not FaceTimed once with beautiful little angels.  It's already Thursday - what kind of mom am I?

That's when I realized it was the absolutely right moment to share my thoughts.  It is important to clear my mind of these negative thoughts that have no reason to be there.  I should not doubt my love for my family or my choices in life right now.  At this very moment in time I need to do what is best for me, because if I focus on me, then I will be good for my family. That is the most important thing in my life right now - me and my family.  Soooooo what's good for me is to stay busy and focused.  I found on the days when I am required to stay home I do not do well.  Prior to my diagnosis my mind never shut down, and now it is on turbo speed during every waking moment.  I cannot stop thinking which leads to not sleeping which sucks!  So when I am at work and staying extremely busy I only have time to think about work, and it's fun at work now (I know, I know I am an insurance geek)!  If I can spend three to five solid days busy at work, then when I am home with my family I am happy, clear headed, active and excited.  When I don't get that time at work, well, let's just say my dog and my couch are all I want.  Do I feel bad admitting this no, because why I am human.  I am human and many people can relate.  It doesn't have to be being diagnosed with cancer like me . . . it could be a multitude of things that come into our personal lives out of left field and punch us in the gut when we least expect it.

My post is over . . . I feel better, and now I am going to try to rush to get some questions or organized :)