MRSA is no walk in the park

The good news . . . I only spent six days in the hospital, and the doc was able to find an oral antibiotic that worked against my strain of MSRA (so no IV antibiotics needed).  The bad news . . . well, not really bad I guess.  More of what is expected . . . the staph infection is slowly going away.  Much of my lower breast skin and muscle tissue has been eaten away.  My body is fighting pretty hard to reject the tissue expander.  So the past few 22 days I have had some pretty crappy days, but mostly good.  I will take that.

So it continues to baffle my brain that I have been given a cancer free diagnosis but mentally I am still not right.  The brain is pretty amazing.  I know I know it takes a while to get over the mental aspects of being cancer free.  I know I know that the chemo effects last much longer than the chemo itself.  I understand that I am dealing with this staph infection and they take such a long time to get rid of.  When I write it all down it makes complete sense why I am not feeling right mentally, but for some reason I cannot get myself to actually understand.  I am exhausted.  I am tired.  I want to feel normal physically.  I want to go to work.  I want to ride my bike.  I want to exercise.  I want to sleep.  I want to go in my swimming pool.  I want my hair long.  I want to feel my toes.  I don't want to be going through menopause.  I want my skin back.  I AM DONE!

Okay, I am not done.  Obviously.  But I sure would like to be. Ha.  A girl can dream, right?

What's next for me?  I have a doctors appointment in 3 weeks which is when I should be done with the 6 weeks of oral antibiotics.  Then we will look to do a skin graph from my back to my breast to replace the skin and muscle tissue gone due to the infection.  Once that is done, the doc will then just put in implants.  All this is dependent on the antibiotics working and the infection being gone.  Had a little hiccup last night.  So we are watching it closely and will decide Monday if we need to go to the hospital.  

The positive . . . you know there is always a positive.  I don't have cancer.  I have an absolutely amazing husband.  I have gotten to spend such wonderful time with my lil angels.  I have a great career and home.  I am surrounded by the best family and friends.  I AM ABOVE GROUND!  Saying these things over and over in your head are not the same as writing them.  There is just something cathartic about writing.

Oh, and I have been asked to speak at the WICC 20th's Anniversary Breakfast!  How cool is that?  I get to share my story again.  

Hope you all have enjoyed your summer!  Thanks so much for all the support.  Make someone smile :)