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The Razumny Family - Journal

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Posted 2024-05-04T02:10:38Z

Grief

Back when I was caring for Rich, I had this image that would replay in my head where I was trapped in a dirt hole and I would be climbing to escape, but every time I grabbed hold, it would crumble beneath my fingers, my nails full of dirt. Now, when I think about all that I can no longer do with him by my side, grief washes over me in a different way. I feel the sensation of grief physically in my body. Starting from my head, it's a rush, a wave that travels down my body, to my toes. In the worst moments, it knocks me off of my feet and takes my breath away. My brain and body somehow know to save these moments for when the kids aren’t around, or after they go to bed. I don’t fight the wave, instead I ride it. [...]

Posted 2024-04-08T23:13:22Z

The Eclipse

Bittersweet. Happy. Sad. Dark. Bright. 

Today, I was supposed to be working, and the kids at school, Arthur’s first day of flag football. I bought eclipse glasses to send off with the kids and it was going to be a normal day. We would see the eclipse in a youtube video later, but not in person… Instead, thanks to day 5 of strep, ear pain, stomach bugs, antibiotic reactions, or just plain tummy troubles, we ended up being home for the day… At first I was just going to let it be a screen time day, from tablets, to TV, to video games, back to tablets… but instead we had quite an adventure. [...]

Posted 2023-11-03T01:04:06Z

Winding Down

Our time together, physically in this world, is coming to an end. Our energy will still connect in the trees and the sun and among the bird songs. For now, we are finding peace and togetherness. For now, the we are resting, we are winding down. This phase of things came hard and fast and it’s a shock to us, our family, friends and of course, our children. Here we sit in the reality of what ALS is, a beast that cannot be tamed. What we can tame is the way we see the world around us. Hear the psithurism, feel the apricity, and find peace. [...]

Posted 2023-10-17T04:27:42Z

Meal Train

From my dear friend, Alex đź’•

“A couple of years ago I was at a Mom's Night Out with BFC: Bedford Family Connection, newly pregnant with my second child, and ended up telling the stranger sitting next to me about my pregnancy panic attacks because I was too anxious to pretend I felt normal. That person turned out to be Leah, then co-president of BFC, and she was so validating and kind.[...]