Share. Connect. Love.

Posted 2019-12-03T21:29:00Z

An Incurable cancer, an illicit drug and one unsinkable woman's quest to live  

Incurable cancer, an illicit drug and one unsinkable woman's quest to live.  Help us bring my story to the world.  Every donation, no matter how small, gets us closer to a world where Cannabis is acknowledged as real medicine.  

An update is long overdue.....  I was scheduled for my final chemo session Tuesday, Nov. 5th but my white blood cells and neutrophils protested.   After 17 Chemo infusions, my body was worn out!  We tried again a week later, still no go, I needed more time to recover.  Finally, on Nov. 19th I could finish my treatments.  The nausea was terrible, my stomach was like a cauldron of hot acid churning and bubbling away.  I hope my GI tract recovers.   

I was referred to Cedars Sini, where I meet a new oncologist to discuss trials that might be a good fit for my tumor.  Despite the fact that the main mutation driving my cancer, P53, is the most common mutation and ubiquitous in over half of all cancers, there is not a good trial for me.  Going forward one maintenance treatment option is Niraparib, a PARB inhibitor.  But Nirparib only offers a few extra months of disease-free progression  (longer for BRCA+ tumors) so it's not a very hopeful option.  That's the best medicine can offer me, a few extra months.  If there was a clear path to cure I would do it, but there isn't.  So I am tempted to refuse these options and go all-in with Cannabis, because I know it can shrink my tumors.  

During my last remission, my tumor started growing just 4 months after chemo ended.   By late spring 2020 I should get a hint that my maintenance Cannabis regime is keeping Porlock knocked back.   During my 3-week experiment being totally off Cannabis my marker shot up 8 points, the tumors grew very fast.  Not to be overly melodramatic, but I am nearing the end of the line.   Either I cure/manage my cancer with an illegal drug or, dam it's hard to write this.  Or 2020 is likely the beginning of the end.  Convention oncology, without Cannabis in the equation, gives me 18 months.  If Cannabis doesn't work my time is short.  But I cultivate hope by pouring my energy into the science and the film.   

So, on to a film update... We missed the SBIFF deadline.  Micheal and I were both disappointed.  Editing an unscripted and rapidly shifting documentary has been tricky and very time-consuming.  We, mostly Michael, are still quietly working hard to bring my story to the world.       


Stay in the know. Sign up to receive email notifications the moment new Journal entries are posted

Comments (15)

  • EvelynCavins

    Anxious for film to be completed as are you. Lots of love, hope and prayers going into 2020 Love Mom

    one year ago · Reply
  • Molly

    Excited to see the film come out Michelle, it will change the world! Continued prayers for your success with cannibis. ❤️

    one year ago · Reply
  • Kathy Whitley
    Kathy Whitley

    Very glad to see your progress. I am hoping for good news about the cannabis results in spring 2020. Will be very happy to see the film, I know you, Bruce and the filmers have worked very hard! Love you both! Kathy

    one year ago · Reply
  • James Cavins
    James Cavins

    I am full of hope for you. We all admire you in your fight. Hugs.

    one year ago · Reply
  • Mike Murray
    Mike Murray

    You are such a strong warrior, Michelle! Your power of purpose is a force to be reckoned with! Sending love, hope and aloha.

    one year ago · Reply
  • Laurel Lyle
    Laurel Lyle

    Michelle Kendall you continue to knock my socks off with your intelligence, ferocity and humor. I’m so excited about this movie — and can’t wait to see you on the red carpet! Until then, Pilates tomorrow- I’ll text and pick you up. 😘😘

    one year ago · Reply
  • Maria C
    Maria C

    Michelle, thanks so much for the update. I've been thinking so much about you and wondering how you were doing and how the film was going. Here's the thing: you may have missed your self imposed super-aggressive deadline for SBIFF, but I bet your film will be produced sooner than it would have been otherwise, because you tried! Also, re: the trial--give it serious consideration. As you know, they exist for a finite period of time, and if you opt not to now and change your mind later, it may no longer be open to enrollment. There is usually a lengthy lag between successful trial and go-to-market for all the (very important!) regulatory brouhaha, and during that time period folks who participated are eligible to continue treatment if warranted, but folks who aren't are unable to join (not sure if that matters with cancer treatment though). But also trials are not without their own risks. A big question also would be whether you'd be allowed to continue the cannabis treatment while on the trial. Based on those considerations and any others you can think of, you will know what is the right thing to do. Personally, I think it's premature to think about 2020 being the beginning of the end, but I totally understand why you might think about that! I am very hopeful that despite the odds, nevertheless, you will PERSIST. ;-)

    one year ago · Reply
  • Heller Lee
    Heller Lee

    Maria is right about the problem of being on cannabis when you are in a trial. So you will have to make that decision. But of course you could go off the cannabis, go on the trial, and watch your numbers. If they started to go up you could always go off the trial and back on the cannabis.

    one year ago · Reply
  • Karen Gillow
    Karen Gillow

    A sad message, but also a hopeful one. Good on you Michelle for being so resilient and determined. I am not sure what I could do, but I know a couple of filmmakers here is Aus (one being our son) who would know about festivals you could send your film to. Let me know if I can be of any help in that regards. I think you and Bruce have my email, and FB message access. Thinking of you often down under xx oo

    one year ago · Reply
  • Anne Rutherford Herrald
    Anne Rutherford Herrald

    Sorry, Michelle, about the horrible nausea you experienced. Hope you're feeling better. Cheers to you for working so hard to bring this important cannibis information to people through your film. Hugs and love Anne and Gordon Herrald

    one year ago · Reply
  • Gordon Fox
    Gordon Fox

    Michelle, your spirit and determination continue to impress me!

    one year ago · Reply
  • Lara ElK
    Lara ElK

    Fantastic work you have done so far on the documentary. Thinking a lot about you and wishing I could be close to hug you and spend time with you. Hope the advancement of research on cannabinoids will open up new hopeful outcomes for you in 2020. Missing you so very much 🤗❤️💜😘😘💕

    one year ago · Reply
  • Susan Olmsted
    Susan Olmsted

    I am still full of hope—-for you and the film

    one year ago · Reply
  • Maria C
    Maria C

    Michelle, I thought you might like to see this chart: US Cancer Survival Rates are Rising: I bet you're gonna take ovarian cancer above the 50% mark with all your efforts. It might even be there by now.

    one year ago · Reply
  • Kyle Feldman
    Kyle Feldman

    Michelle and Bruce....I love the picture of you two in the grow house...You are both glowing. HOPE! What a gift hope is. I am praying that our hope will soon be realized and we will all look back on this and wonder. Praying with you.

    one year ago · Reply