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Michelle Kendall - Journal

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Posted 2020-03-18T22:06:00Z

Fighting terminal cancer in the age of SARS-CoV-2

The entire world has just involuntarily adopted my lifestyle of quarantining at home, worrying about germs and wondering if we will be alive in 2 months.  It is amazing how a virus, a little strand of RNA that is not even technically alive, brought the world to its knees.  The threat of SARS-CoV2 has shifted everything.  I was hoping that right after writing this blog post I would be booking trips.  Bruce took spring quarter at 50%time, we planned to visit Italy and take a biking trip in Seattle.  Boy do I know how to pick a vacation spot!  And of course, Oxford, to lobby the related research groups on Cannabinoid Oncology.  Now, for what is likely my last remission, I will be stuck at home.  Don't get me wrong, I have a beautiful house and garden, which I so grateful for.  But I have been on soft quarantine during most of last year during chemo.  And now, just as my immunity is recovering the entire planted is on lockdown for longer than anyone wants to admit.   It is not how I wanted to spend my year.  [...]

Posted 2020-03-10T00:54:00Z

Be bold, work hard and change the world. Right after you and wash your hands

March 3rd was my fourth "rebirthday."  It's been four years since I was filleted.  Four years of living in a body at war with itself. Four years where chemo cycles, white blood cell counts, and the spectre of Porlock have ruled our lives.  I can hardly remember life before cancer, which makes me sad.  I was hoping to celebrate this 4th anniversary with good news but instead I'm feeling so discouraged.  The United Nations Council on Narcotics Drugs met in Vienna last week.  I was delusionally hopeful they would take last year’s WHO recommendation and vote to deschedule Cannabis.  Some member states — Russian, China, Iran, Japan, among others —were not willing to hold the vote. Here is a summary of the UN meeting and what it means.  A delayed "YES" vote is better than a rushed "NO" vote, but this is time I do not have.  I am frustrated and stressed out.  It was a revelation that international treaties could prohibit the US from descheduling Cannabis.  Not only does the US Federal Government have to loosen restrictions but basically the entire world has to agree?  I find this staggeringly depressing.  I really don't have the words to express how sad and angry this makes me.  Why should my health care depend on what Russia thinks?  I am doomed.  Bernie keeps saying he will legalize on day one of his presidency, but that path to legalization is complicated.  If Trump can pull the US out of Paris Climate agreements, could Bernie pull us out of the UN drug convention?  I have not looked into that, but I should.       [...]

Posted 2020-02-11T04:19:00Z

Schedule 1 screening

Thank you one and all for your GoFundMe donations and encouragement, we arrived at screening day.  We hosted a private showing for donors at the Alcazar Theater in Carpinteria followed by a panel discussion with Dr. David Bearman and Ruth Fisher, Ph.D.   We received a rousing round of applause and numerous helpful comments, suggestions and feedback which will use to make the film even better.  Schedule 1 was accepted to the Los Angeles Shorts Film Festival where it will have its "world premiere" in late March.  Info here.....LASFF    And this is just the beginning, big plans are in the works, stay tuned.  [...]

Posted 2020-01-29T22:47:00Z

If I die of this disease I do not want anyone to say I died of cancer,  I died from the suppression of science

I know I am making bold claims, claims that despite robust pre-clinical science, the world does not seem ready to hear.  In moments like these, I vacillate between feeling like a genius and feeling crazy.  But I know I am just ahead of my time.  So today I let the peer-reviewed science speak for itself......  [...]

Posted 2019-10-12T17:33:00Z

Chemo # 17 was Tuesday followed by increasingly hard week of post chemo nausea

Last Tuesday I had my 17th chemo.  Now I am struggling through another week of severe nausea.  Despite a regime of four anti-nausea meds, I could not keep liquids down yesterday, so back to the hospital I went for IV fluids and more anti-emetics.  I even threw up in the infusion chair while getting more anti-nausea meds!   Still feeling yucky today but liquids are staying down and that's most important.  My feet, leg, and hands are exhibiting the side effects of Doxorubicin.  It is a hot blistering acidic feeling, different from neuropathy, very unpleasant, but it should diminish after treatment.  I tried a new product, Care By Design pain cream, a 1:1 ratio of THC to CBD that has helped the burning feeling, another use for Cannabinoids!  [...]