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Michelle Kendall - Journal

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Posted 2016-05-31T21:14:00Z

Sophie's visit: a generous, clever and appreciated gift from Sally and Bob.

***this entire blog post was written 2 hours into a dose of Zimovane sleeping pills!!***

Sophie flew home to Ohio a few days ago, after a fabulous and fun 5 day visit.  It was quite a feat getting her here: an expired passport; arranging child care for Beatrice, her 4 year old daughter; and Soph pregnant with her second child, so she had to get doctor's clearance to fly.  But wild horses couldn't keep her.  With generous help from Bob and Sally's Cancer Warrior Treasure Chest -- we made it happen.  Thank you, Sally and Bob, for your generous gift of guests!!  Sophie was the third friend to visit: the CWTC allowed Satie and Nan to visit and Allison's visit is still to come.  Soph took good care of me, tried to get my to go yoga, vacuumed, and painted my toes, (as my nurses suggested) to help brittle nails that tend to break of fall off during chemo.  I bought Beatrice a hot pink "Oxford" sweatshirt.  We took some nice long walks, and visited the covered market, museums, Blenheim Palace and Bampton (the village where Downton Abbey townsfolk lived), thanks to Shelley and her generous county outings.  [...]

Posted 2016-05-12T15:56:00Z

die cancer cells, DIE!

After the past three days of taking steroids and flying high, today I started the post steroid crash.  On Monday the nurse reassured me that a mental low was common coming off steroids and to be gentle with myself if I was feel down. In addition to the steroids, my parents left yesterday. That was a hard goodbye, only made easier by the chance I will see then again in three weeks at my brother's wedding!  Today aside, I have been working hard on my mental attitude these past three weeks.  I was feeling so pessimistic.  The five year survival stats are so grim; I was feeling hopeless and that I will not live to see my 50th birthday.  I still don't know if that will happen but I am working hard to not worry about it.  I'm feeling greedy, but not guilty, about living large and having big wonderful days, whenever I feel well enough.  There are lessons to learn when you feel death sneaking up on you.  While I wouldn't wish a "premature" terminal illness on anyone -- life is terminal, we are all mortal.  And it's not fun to think about, but doing so makes life so much richer.  I hope you all make the most of today!  [...]