Sunday, 05/01, from Caren

Tonight my children sleep and I sit here wondering how their future's will play out and hope they never have to endure the pain and struggle that the adults in the family face on a daily basis to make miracles happen.
Still waiting on the Insurance Company. This is so gosh darn frustrating. I don't think my Psychologist who is supposed to help me with all my memory issues and adjusting to the "new me that is blended with the old me" has enough hours in the month for my need to express how I feel. What's even worse is that how I feel are these puzzle pieces of words trapped in my head that struggle to be formed into cohesive sentences that make sense...within that hour time frame I am allotted..............and of course he will most likely have his own agenda and by the time it is my time to say how I feel I will have forgotten my words anyway. Noone can explain what is going on with me. It's like living in a glass box some days. I speak but it seems like noone hears me. I can pound on the glass and its like noone sees me because I am invisible...............not that I am literally invisible, but that my brain is something they can't see so they don't understand and don't take it as seriously as I do...... Am I in this alone? I know I am not, but it feels so lonely sometimes.....

My husband has all but given up on hope on so many things.. This whole thing has really taken a toll on him and my whole family. I feel so helpless..

Trying to be supportive and loving and I keep repeating things that apparently I have said many times before and don't even remember it...it's actually quite embarrassing......