Mountains of toys
I often get sideways glances from the more polite, or flat out “how much stuff can your children possibly need?” from the more blunt. Why? Because Emma and Daniel have mountains of toys. Literally, hundreds.
I know people think that it's all because I'm raising spoiled children. Certainly Daniel and Emma have access to plenty of lovely things.
The truth of the matter is, Emma doesn’t play with toys. She carries them around, or puts them in her mouth, but spends very little time functionally playing with the toys. Her sensory issues lead to her exploring the world with her mouth, so things like door handles, piano pedals, and fireplace stones end up being teethed by Emma, while teething toys are tossed aside.
As a result, if we are in a store and Emma shows the remotest interest in a toy, the chances are I will buy it. Not because I want her to have every material item in the whole world that she likes, but because I want to encourage her to explore toys in a different, and more appropriate, way.
Is this the right way to handle Emma’s issues? I have no idea. I have a lot of learning to do. How does one encourage a toddler to play with toys? For so many children, Daniel included, this seems to just come naturally. It’s a novel concept to me that a child wouldn’t just inherently know to play with toys.
Emma has been having bi-weekly therapy through United Cerebral Palsy’s Birth to Three program for several months now. Often we will develop a list of new things to try. We are about to purchase a toddler trampoline and some chewelry, to try and help Emma with her balance, and encourage her to chew things that are more suitable for chewing than plastic bags and shoes.
So, next time you come by and see a frankly ridiculous amount of toys, please don’t judge us. As a family we are working through this situation the best way we can, and for now that means buying things. Hopefully over time we will learn better ways. As members of the human race, we all spend too much energy judging one another. One of the most humbling lessons for me through this learning experience is that everyone has their own struggle, and you have no idea what is going on behind closed doors. My New Years Resolution was to try to be a kinder person. I can't believe it's taken a wonderful little one-year-old girl with her own unique set of needs to teach me this.
Again, any suggestions for engaging Emma are very welcome. We are learning a great deal from people reading our blog and sending us messages. Thank you so much!
Katy and Adam x
Comments (5)
You are likely the one judging your family harshly. The rest of us are wishing only joy and progression for Miss Emma and everyone else in your household. I understand the fear of feeling your way through parenthood with the lights off. I think everyone with children worries about being judged and having things said about them behind closed doors. But please, Katy & Adam, know that you have far more people wishing you well and sending you love than those who question you. And frankly, those who question you should take a long walk (in your shoes) off a short pier. <3
Sweet girl, I would buy my baby a unicorn and learn how to fly it if I thought it would help her. You don't have to justify anything when it comes from a place of love. And I'm sure these things do help, Emma has a permanent playmate and stimulation the whole time, I'd be sure it does make a difference. Here here to Amy's comment too! Happy play days Emma and Daniel xxxxx
What about a toy kitchen set She might like playing with things she sees everyday
Oh Katy - thank you for putting this out there. I agree with Amy's comment - often we are our own worst critics - and especially when it comes to being a mum, there seem to be endless places to judge and feel judged. I know I try to be sensetive to this, but find myself having said things that later I think "did that make someone else feel like I was invalidating their approach." I hope I haven't done that with you because I want to support you on all fronts. You are a great mum and friend and I love you. Sending so much love to you, adam, emma, & daniel. Hope we can come and play with the mountains of toys soon :)
There is not a person in this entire world that should ever say that your beautiful babies are spoiled. They have no idea what's going on. I would do the exact same thing. Buy the beauty anything she seems interested in so she can learn about things. I love you all so much and wish I was there to help with anything I could.