Wake up call

We are still waiting for the results of Adam's and my genetic test results -- 3 and a half weeks and counting! Patience is a virtue that I'm working on still! They are the key to moving forward as we need all our lab results back before we see a specialist. I'm hoping to hear something by the end of this week. 

In the meantime, I'm embracing my three Ls -- Love, Learning, and Logic.

Love -- Nothing about Emma's diagnosis changes her. Perfect and sweet, she is incredibly easy to love. Daniel, her brother, is equally as perfect. He is mischievous and adorable, and our hearts swell when we look at him. How lucky can we be to have two such wonderful children? I think Lucky could very well be the unofficial fourth L!

Learning -- "The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know" - Socrates. We are learning a great deal as a family. We are learning new words, new turns of phrase, new methods of engaging with our children, new ways of explaining things to friends and family. We are learning the differences between different kinds of therapies, reading lots of books, and keeping our minds open all the time.

Logic -- I have started to see a therapist to try and process my emotions surrounding this new journey. I have always, and will continue to be, a huge proponent of talking-it-out. Sometimes you need a sounding board; sometimes you need to hear yourself saying things out loud; sometimes you need guidance in how to process things. Therapy is not a sign of weakness, but of strength -- the willingness to embrace your own needs. At my last session I told my therapist about a dream I had had, where I was with Emma getting her ready for prom. We went and had manicures and pedicures, picked up her dress, and I saw her off in to a limousine. That was it. It was simple, and it was lovely. But people kept/keep telling me our lives are going to be different. That I should protect my heart and not think of those kinds of things. I'm not mentally there, and, as I told my therapist, I don't intend on getting there. I don't like there, and I don't see why I should have to go there. I told my therapist all of this. I expected her to agree with me, and tell me not to listen to all those naysayers.

But she didn't.

Instead, she looked at me, and paused.

She said, "Katy. How do you know Emma will want to go to prom? How do you know she will want to have her nails done. How do you know that she will want to wear a dress, or ride in a limo, or involve you?"

"You can't have that expectation." She continued "Not because Emma may not be capable, and not because you have to accept that she may continue to have challenges in the future, but because she is an individual with infinite potential, and you shouldn't have any expectations about her future. That's not your right. Your role is to nurture her, hope for her, love her. Not to place expectations upon her."

I was floored. It was a real moment of epiphany for me, that I wanted to share with you all. 

So, for now we have no news, but our personal growth continues.

Thank you for being here.

Katy and Adam