A Light At The End Of The Tunnel

After today I have ONE WEEK left of radiation, and I couldn't be happier.  Looking back on it now, it has gone pretty quickly.  But on that first day it felt like it was going to be an eternity until it ended.  On the last day I get to RING THAT BELL, and I hope someone videos it so you all can see it, too.  Cuz I'm gonna RING THAT BELL like I've never rung a bell before.  

I wear a hat everyday because I can't believe what it looks like when I look in the mirror.  You would never know what was "not under my hat" until I took my hat off.  I am like an old man with no hair on top, but I still have hair in the back and on my sides (but not on top).  Quite the sight!  And I hardly ever show anybody, so if you have seen it, consider yourself very special.  I absolutely HATE looking at it.  If it wasn't for radiation, I would still have my hair.  My chemo pill has nothing to do with my hair loss, it is all because of radiation.  They said eventually my scalp would burn, and I actually don't feel a BURN, but what I do feel is like if you have long hair and you have worn pony tails - you know how it feels when you take that pony tail out??  That's exactly what my head feels like.  If you have never worn a pony tail you wouldn't understand.  It is like your HAIR HURTS. 

Yesterday at my doctor's appointment I got the okay to start driving.  I have to start small and work my way up.  I have to drive with someone for the next 6 weeks.  When I go back to see this doctor in 6 weeks, if everything has gone fine, then Rusty (my car) and I can go out on our own and do a little sight seeing.  I feel like I have missed my whole summer - not being able to just get in my car and go.  And now Fall is approaching.  I WANT MY SUMMER BACK!  

After my radiation is done I will have one week left of my chemo pills.  I will get a small break, but not from physical therapy, they signed me up for six more weeks!  After a short break from chemo, I will start up on the chemo pill again.  It will be a stronger dosage.  The unbelievable part is that I haven't been sick once.  Does that mean that I always feel GOOD? Heck NO!  I am just saying I haven't been "sick" one time, and I have always heard that chemo makes you sick.  I am so very thankful for that.  I still have my barf bag next to my bed, and yes, I do use it!  But not for what it is meant for...  I save my hair - after I take my shower and after I comb my hair everyday, what comes out I shove in that doggone barf bag.  It is MINE and no one is gonna take it from me.  I know that may be a sick thing to do, but I don't care.  It's MY hair, and I can keep it if I want to.  

On Sunday I went with a couple good friends, Kristi and Beth, to go get Tate (my puppy) blessed at the Croc Center.  I had several people pray over Tate and I.  We were a big hit - he was the only Cavalier King Charles and I was the only one in a wheelchair, so we got many smiles and comments and nice people talking to us, which is exactly what I would do if I had been there walking around with my dog.  I would've stopped and talked to the lady in the wheelchair with the hat, too.  No one is grumpy to a lady in a wheelchair.  And nobody is grumpy to a Cavalier King Charles when they look at you with those big brown eyes.*  It was a fun day.

On October 30th I have a very special appointment to get my first MRI since my treatments started.  Then on the 31st I will visit with my oncologist Dr. Shonka (I never thought I would use those words, "my oncologist", but I love my oncologist).  I am anxious about it, worried, but excited at the same time.  Because I want to know if the radiation has worked.  I heard someone once say that every time they have to have a scan they get SCANXIETY.  I guess that would be the perfect way to describe it.  I wish I had thought of that myself.     

It will be about a week and a half and I will be moving in with Ashlee and her family into the new house.  It is around 120th and Shirley (in Omaha).  I may need some help packing my things and, on the day of the move, moving my things.  I am going to be at my house (off 185th and Harrison in Omaha) this Saturday packing some things up if anyone wants to pitch in and help, swing on by around noon.  

I CAN:

- Make it through one more week of radiation

- Ring that bell louder than anyone else!

- Keep on rockin' my hats and no one will ever know (unless they read my blog...)

I CAN'T:

- Believe FALL is here and my summer is gone

- Believe that I am leaving my house that I lived in for 8 years, but I am ready

- Believe I still have a ton of thank you notes to write - I am sorry that I'm so behind on that

* Transcriber's note:  Nettie's little sister Susan here...  I type as she recites her blog.  When she said that no one can be grumpy when a Cavalier King Charles looks at you with their big brown eyes, she was right...  I am not a dog person.  In fact, I don't like dogs...  And even I have fallen in love with her puppy Tate!!  I take him on walks everyday (he loves peeing on a certain mailbox in the neighborhood, and he and I run through a field together).  I have never even PET dogs my entire life, and now my husband is worried I am going to return home with a puppy in my luggage...