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Posted 2015-05-30T18:48:30Z

From Mama Mona

That's me. Mama Mona - 30 years ago. YES in a mohawk... bowtie and a flannel shirt. Wearing my sunglasses and looking rather fly.

My sunglasses were protecting the sunlight but not the SON-light. However, God protects me as I am awake and face every day in excruciating pain from my waist down due to complications from pudendal neuralgia. I could not have imagined at 20 years old as I looked so fly into the sun that my plans could change so rapidly. I, like so many of us, thought I had thought it all through. But although my plans changed, God's plans have never changed and they never will. We just have to learn how to align with HIS will and HIS way.

Even if we don't agree.

JESUS DID NOT DIE FOR A Burger King salvation-you don't get to have it your way! He suffered! Remember the bible... or at least the movies! smile emoticon

Pressing through takes WORSHIP... the WORD... it takes WORK and for me it has taken quite a bit of WEEPING as well. And don't tell me not to weep. Don't go there, please. Jesus wept, too. "Weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning." Psalms 30:5. HALLELUJAH!

After a 4 hour surgery in New Hampshire last year I found out that I was born with this condition. There are only 4 surgeons that do this procedure in the United States and my surgeon was the one who confirmed that I'm the only person known in the country to be born with this disease - I have always been unique. smile emoticon

As a child I had to quit everything that I started that was physical from being a majorette, cheerleader, basketball player... I even had to request, in elementary school, for my mom to make a special cushion because I was unable to sit on the hard school desk. I learned to live and give with pain. However, I did not stop there I just kept trying and trying until I found something that I could do.

I don't remember a day in my entire life where I have not experienced pain from my waist down. My pediatrician said it was growing pains, arthritis, or they just did not have a clue. How do you explain as a kid that your bones hurt? How do you explain to the doctor and he's telling you that it doesn't make any sense?

As a kid I just wanted to run, jump, play, skip and be a regular kid - I paid for it all. I suffered in silence because not only did the doctors not know what to do but I just got tired of complaining. I just wanted to be a little girl with ponytails.

But now, it's beyond that. Now, after much prayer due to the sensitivities of my thorn, I am telling my story. It's storytelling time and I am a fighter!

I take and make calls as the momager of the girls between tears and fears of soaring blood pressure. My husband has worked 1 or 2 days in 5 weeks, 1 haircut in a month (he can almost wear a man bun or he needs a flat iron)... we cry through the night and day, he wants to comfort me but it's so complicated. So complicated....

We are pastors. We need pastors. We need prayers. We need support.

Fast forward, 30 years after the photo (attached) and no mohawk the doctors now have a neurostimulator that they can implant in my lower back to assist with my. However, my insurance company is not in support of paying for it.

That's where I need your help.

There is a 85% chance that it can DECREASE MY PAIN by 50%!!

Most days I am working as the momager of Jamie Grace and Morgan Harper Nichols from a hospital bed. Either in a three-star hospital or the one that my family has purchased for me to have in our bedroom. Debilitating does not describe what is happening to my body minute by minute. I need the surgery as soon as possible.

Often times my girls crawl in the bed with me and they tell me how difficult it is to go out to sing and share and watch so many mothers and their daughters say how much they enjoy what they are ministering to them while they are watching me at home and wondering what state I'll be in when they come back. This is very difficult for me to say but I must.

From my heart to yours.

"Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me"
-Matt Redman's Never Let Go

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