I just reread my update from June, and I had to laugh. I was so energetic and enthusiastic. Shopping! Decorating! Meetup groups!
Now that the steroids aka amphetamines have worn off, life looks a bit different. Don’t get me wrong: physically, I’m still getting stronger all the time. My blood counts continue to improve, and my spleen is no longer enlarged. I have pretty cute, very short gray hair. I’ve graduated to the fast walking group, and I even drove to Tahoe last weekend. (Thank you Laitys.)
However, I spend a significant amount of time tending to my touchy stomach and feeling tired and a bit depressed. I haven’t shopped, fixed up the house or gone to a Meetup group in weeks. I can’t even commit to a weekly one-hour class. When people ask me what I’m going to do with my new life, I have no answer. I just know what I don’t want to do right now, i.e. anything resembling work and stress. Basically, I’m a slug.
My Kaiser psychologist tells me that I’m just deeply fatigued in body and mind from this massive thing that I went through. Survival necessity and steroids were simply masking it for a while. He correctly surmised that I like projects and has suggested that I focus on Recovery for the next 6 months. I like this project since it gives me complete license to exercise moderately, nap, and stare into space.
My favorite thing to do, besides nothing, is to hang out with one or two friends with whom there is no need for small talk or effort. It’s just easy. So, please continue to call and make plans. I can drive to you now. 🙂
Being on a deserted tropical island with servants and a special someone also sounds perfect at the moment. Any suggestions?
Until next time,