Recent Happenings As of Today in 2015
I had an appointment today with my Physiatrist. Sadly, she is leaving. I am upset by this greatly. She came into my life when I needed her most - when I desperately needed to trust someone with my body who knew what they were doing and actually LISTENED to me about what I KNEW about MY body too. I do not feel the need has yet passed....yet her life's journey continues. This has been a tough day and will be a difficult transition. I put my brave and supportive face on while I fell apart inside. This is childish I tell myself......Why does it feel like so much loss?
Physical, Occupational, and Recreational Therapy Continues through MaryFreeBed - a Physical Rehabilitation Hospital here in MI. My balance is improving though sometimes I still go for that sideways "salsa 2 step crab walk" and just catch myself so I don't fall. I am using my cane more than the wheelchair, but still use the wc as necessary. The baseline headache continues and I don't even worry about it going away any more. I am exhausted all the time. It's like I never get enough sleep and my brain just decides on its own when that happens for the most part. It's like I am "me" - but different. It's so hard to explain.
I have a new Speech Therapist added to my Medical Team. I am cautiously optimistic about this as my experience with them in general has been both positive and negative over the last year. It just depends on who you get, how things get documented and if they get documented properly, etc etc etc. If I have learned anything through all of this.....is that documentation is paramount....let me clarify PROPER documentation is paramount to a person's recovery process as it affects every ongoing treatment and focus of every future provider.
I am attending counseling to help me adjust to life as it is now for me. Working on some deep things every day within myself. Accepting what is and seeking to regain what was are sometimes.....most times..... on different sides of the tracks with the train of life moving by quickly. I am grateful for life - for surviving. This is in my mind every moment.
How do I go back? I don't! I can only move forward. Two steps back one step forward. Yet we are still moving forward....so progress abounds - even if in small chunks.....now the memory on the other hand is another story in and of itself.....an amazingly odd and glorious creature altogether.
Comments (2)
A baby step is progress. It make me so sad, each loss you suffer. I just don't know what to do anymore. That best I have is, "I love you, so glad you have survived, proud of your victories!" What a gloriously phenomenal woman you are!
sorry about the loss of your physiatrist---it's hard when you feel that there is a special connection---but most seems to be moving forward.--One day at a time.-----Gil went to the ENT--as his ears still feel like he is up in an air plane and his ears won't pop--the Dr. remove more wax--( had just had it done a month ago in the PC's office--evidently she didn't get it all as the Dr. couldn't see his ear drum--) He also has to use saline spray 3X day in his n nose as he has been having a little nose bleeding when blowing and some vaseline as his nose is irritated--and he is going for a swallow test on fri--as liquid gets stuck in his throat once in a while----his legs have filled up with water again so he is again on double lasix and on an antibiotic as he has weeping legs--were the fluid is leeking out blisters on his lower legs----and he has appt with foot dr. in Mar.--he has gotten stronger --he is wiping that walker right around and going to the store and in the kitchen again---he needs a little more balance too----he was doing so well than the legs---2 steps back one foward--------of course now that he is feeling better he doesn't want to sit and put his legs up--so that is a problem--------anyway onward with both journeys----Blessings--to you and the family and your mom---