FROM CAREN, 04/17

OMG my husband is a genius and why the police didn't catch this or notice this or even ask us about it, I don't know. So get this, They (my mom and brother) took tons of pictures of the van and my husband noticed something the officers totally seemed to have missed. The police report says it was a head on crash and I must have crossed center line. Now if you remember the police officer said at first when he came to the hospital that neither party would be ticketed...then he came back 6 days later and said 2 "witnesses" came forward and said they saw me cross center line - so I got a ticket for that which we are going to fight....and here's why I am fighting it even though my brain won't let me remember....if I was guilty I would totally own it... I would feel like total shit and feel devastated but stilll be honest about it.... but 1st of all I have had emergency driving training when I worked on the Ambulance as an EMT and Rescue Technician years ago. You don't forget those kinds of driving techniques, they kind of become second nature....so I couldn't figure out how this head on happened in the first place and there was damage to the BACK of my mom's van. 

Now, I rarely drove my mom's van - but what I know about it is there was no body damage to her van prior to the wreck and she likes to keep it cleaned and maintenanced.

MY HUSBAND noticed a different color PAINT color on the back bumper and that the bumper was now a damaged bumper with a diifferent color than my moms van or the other head on vehicle involved.............like totally different color than listed on the police report. I totally believe now his theory. The roads were dry according to the police report and they have me heading the wrong way than when I started (which I don't understand still) and knew I was headed. Rick thinks because of the different paint color transfer - that someone hit me from behind and that I instinctively pressed hard on the brake (his opinion for why my pelvis had a hairline fracture and why the brake pedal was bent and why my right foot still hurts......and that they fled the scene afterwards......but that is what shot me over into the other lane or spinned me around to face the wrong direction - or something like that...

and doesn't it seem odd that these "witnesses" reappeared days later and whoever hit me even if not these "witnesses"...they fled the scene - how could someone do that....their statement is they saw me ejected and got scared and left or something like that..and they left with a little boy standing in the middle of the road???? or in the van itself???...I still can't remember shit.... and thiss angers me....

As an Emergency Medical Technician - which I did for like 5-6 years - my worst fears were to be in an accident and have to have my clothes cut off of me and be laying in an ER bed naked and cold...but especially naked... or in an ambulance with any injuries at all being taken care of by someone I know. Now my worst fear is that I will never remember what happened and my sweet little boy will never forget. He STILL talks about it 4 months later.

This would explain though why my 5 year old said it felt like we "hit a wall and then why did the lady crashed inito the front of Nana's van"

I cry so much....I either feel punchdruink or pathetically weeping.....I heard from my primary care physician that this was all part of a Traumatic Braiin Injury (TBI) - I don't know why those words bother me so much because I am so much more......though reality keeps kicking me in the head and reminding me that I am not better yet. She says we are probably looking at a 2 year plan - I am not sure what all this entails but I do know I want to be better much faster than that.

The good news is that I am getting to go get testing and help from some specialists in this field so I am excited.

However, now I need a traffic attorney. The traffic attorney I talked with today wants $750.00 to cover the whole traffic matter. I don't know what I am going to do. I will be calling around tomorrow to see if I can find a better deal or someone who will work with us on that part of it.......cux yeah......that may as well be a million. 

My Dr. said keep my stress down and that I shouldn't be overstimulating my brain. I am thinking she is sooooooo right.....because it makes me feel worse....but I can't ignore this either and there is just so much going on all at once it is truly overwhelming.

My HOPE is sprung though because now we have an "idea" of what might of happened - it's like a puzzle piece....or several really. So worried about the other lady too. I want to meet her so bad....is that wrong???? 

How did Austin escape injury....it's miraculous.....