FROM CAREN, 04/28

"Traumatic brain injury: 'The person you were dies in the ER or before you even get to the ER' "-
~ Trudy Mahoney

You wake up a different person. Feeling and not being able to express it is almost worse than the feeling itself. So I bide my time and hope that I can "will" the feeling away and yet it presses like a weight inside my head......and crawls into a corner like a child and covers itself with a blanket....if only I could form the right words that expressed what I don't seem to be able to find the words to say...if only I could remember the correct words to choose.......it would explain everything I was going through and I wouldn't feel so alone...and misunderstood.

Time will tell who sticks around and who doesn't. I only hope I have the strength to withstand the changes that I feel coming like a dark storm looming in the distance. I hope that I am not caught up in that tornado that I sometimes feel in my head and can focus on all the rainbows and beauty that HOPE brings. I sit here.....tired.....weary.....sore.....and clinging to the very thing that I feel is becoming harder to reach.....but for now I sleep............and hopefully answers can be found to all the questions that consume my waking moments, including the ones my mind won't let me remember no matter how hard I try.