Lately there have been a lot of signs of life returning to “normal.” Two days ago I got my first real haircut since last March. On Sunday we hosted the regular Snowflower Sangha meeting at our home – the kind of thing we used to do a lot of, but haven’t done since my diagnosis (so if 15 people meditating in your living room is “normal,” then this definitely qualifies). Last week I had my 6-month follow-up with the cardiologist who saw me when my troponin levels were elevated (a sign of a possible heart attack) in July; my troponin levels and my repeat echocardiogram were normal. I also drove with a colleague to Milwaukee, where we joined two other colleagues in delivering a 3-hour workshop introducing the Art of Transformational Consulting  to attendees at the Nonprofit Center of Milwaukee. Last week my stepson Sam and I resumed our weekly lunch date.[...]

Today I decided it was past time to tackle the blockade of ugly ice and snow at the end of our walkway to the street. After having to drop Sam off at the corner to get him into our house for dinner and a movie last night, and with temperatures predicted to plunge well below zero again later today, it seemed like a good way to start the day (well, after some pilates and breakfast). As I chipped away at the frozen foot-and-a-half-high, foot-deep mass of ice left by the plow, I mused about how this is like other projects in life. I’m going to insert my reflections on relationships to other projects in brackets here. [Like this].[...]

As I practice fully inhabiting my new shape – my new “naked heart,” I am finding a few things helpful.

• Pilates—I am having regular individualized sessions with a very experienced practitioner, Collette, working on learning to use underused muscles, and relax overused ones. Some of this involves working on flexibility in the ribcage. All of this is helping me loosen up places that are still stiff (and still numb) from the surgery, and generally re-inhabit my body. An interesting side note: The other day I told Collette something I’ve thought a lot before about this kind of thing: “I wish they had taught me this in kindergarten.” “Oh,” she said casually but definitively, “You wouldn’t have been able to learn this in kindergarten!” “Really?!” I asked. “Or even your teens or twenties, most likely,” she continued. She said there isn’t scientific evidence yet, but in her (considerable) experience, people just don’t have the inner neurological sensitivity to isolate specific core muscles and the like until they’re in their 30s!! Teens can do Pilates and have fun with it, she said, but it’s a different thing entirely.
• Ceramics – I did a few sculptures before my surgery on the subject of breasts, and here is my first post-mastectomy one. Now, of course, my hair is nowhere near this long yet and I’m not sure I want to grow it long at all (though I did once have this kind of braid!) but for those of you who have been wondering what my chest looks like, here’s a semi-self-portrait.
• Stories and pictures of other women who decided to “go flat.” I just found this blog, “thebreastlessyears,”  sort of a fashion advice blog!

Here are a couple of requests for ways people can help me further with this project of re-inhabiting – and hopefully learning to love – my new shape:[...]