My counts were high enough so I had my chemo treatment today. Two (2!) more treatments to go, on a weekly Friday schedule now, unless the counts are too low...[...]

Last night before going to sleep, Don and I were talking about the surgery decision. We reflected on how having longer to think about it (because I’m having chemo first, and decided to delay the decision) has made us both more open to options other than mastectomy. Partly, this is due to the distance in time from the initial diagnostic biopsy stage, which was pretty traumatic and temporarily disabling. Though chemo is unpleasant and longer, it honestly doesn’t feel as bad as that felt. As it was happening and immediately afterwards, I felt like I definitely didn’t want to have to keep going through repeated mammograms, MRIs, and follow-up biopsies every time they find something suspicious, many of which would turn out to be non-cancerous. As the memory of the pain and fear recedes, it is a little easier to consider keeping breast tissue and being subject to some of that in the future.[...]

Well, today was another surprise – my white cell and platelet counts are too low to get my chemo treatment. Everyone expected, I think, that after a week off of chemo they’d be fine. Perhaps it was that I also took three weeks off of acupuncture, due to a combination of missing an appointment because of my hospitalization, my acupuncturist being away, and then me being away…. I’ve called to try to get in to see her this week before Friday, when we will try again. If it works on Friday, they will switch me to Fridays instead of Tuesdays for the remaining two treatments; if not, we will go back to Tuesday…. Sigh. As if I weren’t already complaining about the difficulties of scheduling… I guess it’s another reminder to let go of the illusion of control.[...]

The week at clay camp at Bethel Horizons Adamah Studios was fun and refreshing. My energy was pretty good most of the week. I did nap nearly every day, and opted to take the shuttle up the hill at American Players Theater when the group went together to see Pride and Prejudice; but I was able to do everything I wanted to in the clay studio, and I also swam twice at Governor Dodge State Park, once in each of the two lovely lakes there.[...]

Well, I have been feeling like writing lately, but have been too busy living to do it! Time with my friend Jean, time at sangha, time with family, and a lovely swim in Lake Wingra yesterday.... As a result I feel "behind" on writing -- so many topics swirling through my mind.[...]

Ever since I knew I'd be losing my hair, I've been thinking about getting a "henna crown." Today, under the masterful hand of Poonam Rao of Celebrations Art Studio and the encouraging eye of my friend Jean who's visiting from New Zealand, it happened! Well, the artistic part has happened. I had to leave it untouched all day (including forgoing a nap!) and I'm even going to try to sleep with it on tonight (we'll see how that goes) to maximize the time for the henna to soak in from the black paste. Tomorrow when it peels off it should be a bright orange, then over 48 hours will oxidize and darken to a deep rust color. Then it will hopefully last a couple of weeks or maybe more if I don't scrub or swim in chlorine or shave and depending on my skin type and a lot of other variables!  I'll keep you posted. [...]

Well, my complaints about mild boredom were answered by the universe with an overnight stay for observation at the hospital! Since this is my first time being admitted overnight in my life, I guess it qualifies on the "unchosen adventure" side of things.  As I'd said, I was waiting to see if I was going to need another blood transfusion, and feeling like it was likely. Thursday I swam for about 35 minutes in the morning, but by afternoon I was feeling like I was starting to crash. This could still have been an after-effect of the steroids they give me the day of the chemo (Tues). But Friday and Saturday I was feeling the same light-headedness upon exertion that, after the previous carboplatin/taxol combo treatment, had gradually gotten worse until I needed a wheelchair to get from the car to the chemo infusion room the next week, and received 2 units of blood. [...]

I’ve noticed that I've not been feeling as motivated to write blog posts lately. I’m not sure why. Perhaps the novelty of this whole thing is wearing off. Having cancer. Being in chemotherapy. Writing a blog. All very novel, initially.  These days, it feels kind of like more of the same, so there’s not as much to write about. Waiting to see if I need a blood transfusion or not this round just isn't as interesting as it was last round. (So far I've been feeling limited, but not as limited, as the weekend after the last carbo/taxol round). [...]