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Good morning my friends....or afternoon I should say. It takes me a while to type and sometimes I am unable to look at the computer screen very long because of my dizziness or headaches....but that's okay it gives me a chance to appreciate the beauty around me or to focus, breathe and center myself. 

This has been my one week Anniversary from the hospital this past Thursday - what a Journey of love and amazing possibilities. What a week for fantastic opportunities to Help One Person Excel.....even if that one person is myself.

So for good news....some night this past week (I don't remember the exact day but I think Thursday - my husband presented me with something so amazing....

My Wedding Rings....

I had asked him what happened to them and apparently they were given to him in a small pill bottle, all covered in blood, that consumed the vision of both rings - he couldn't face that pain to clean them after the wreck and gave them to my mom to put in a safe place; so my mom....when she could muster up the courage to do so, cleaned them. Rick told me, we may have to straighten them a little at the jewelers as one was bent a little and the other a little bit squeezed....but they fit.....and the tears flowed - his and mine.

Those rings though only materialistic possessions.....mean so much in the grand scheme of things. I realize now, they also symbolize HOPE. The hope that all the visions and dreams you create and nurture as a couple develop in the way that you want them to - little do we know how much those rings, and their symbology mean and that in a way make us feel grateful to have the life to share with another the same things - good, bad, or ugly.

Thanks mom for cleaning them and thanks Rick for loving me enough to wait for me to be able to wear them and ask about their absence. All in good time.[...]

If you are looking at this right now then it is meant for you to know to NEVER GIVE UP HOPE.....my acronym is HOPE= Helping One Person Excel.

Whether this is through assisting them across the street, paying some bills for them, paying for the coffee for the person in the drive through behind you, or giving a person rides to therapy appointments, or whether you are a prayer warrior or just a believer in possibilities. One small act of kindness can restore HOPE in someone's soul......even if just for a moment.

I have 2 special things to tell you tomorrow(which is now actually today),, but first I sleep..[...]

     Yesterday, Caren and Rick had to admit one of their children to residential care. It was a grief-stricken day for all the parents, to realize that this child was beyond their help, and needed professional intervention.  One thing, though, none of our children are ever beyond our love.  Caren had a very emotional day, and the concussion only exacerbated the tears.
     I observed, I consoled, I supported - and Lord, I prayed.  But, there were no tears.  It is not that I am unfeeling, nor is it that I didn't care.  I just felt all cried out - years of cried out.  This is my second time around, raising kids.  My kids went through some rough times. At one point I held my son's wrist together while my husband summoned the ambulance.  I sobbed, I wept, I beat my chest in anguish.  So, I understand the sorrow.  Also, I am not unaware of the healing property of tears. Maybe I'm just prolactin, andrenocorticotropic, and leucine enkephalin challenged.  LOL  Perhaps I understand that one day the child will no longer hate the parents. The child will come to understand the loving sacrifices made this week.  One day.  Right now, teenagers are seeking self-gratification in a hurry.  It's the way the brain is wired, so the Doc explained.  Many of our teens have the faulty notion of entitlement. We'll not debate this.  When raising my kids, the first time around, an old preacher once told me to cry in my pillow at night, wring it out in the morning, and go with God.  Joy comes in the morning.  
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Today Caren sleeps.  Yesterday her medication schedule was totally off-kilter.  She refused her pain medication in order to stay clear-headed and supportive, supportive of her kids.
     When kids are in crisis, parents want to be there to support them.  Little do the kids realize the peril they often cause by their choices.  The teenagers are too embroiled in their own self-created dramas and lack of foresight to see the damage they do to themselves and to others.  God help these kids to make better choices, before they do irreparable harm.
     So, Caren was there when Mel came over to the house, when Rick came home, "when the fit hits the shan."  With no reserves, she is exhausted today, playing catch-up, as we again 
re-establish a schedule that works successfully for her health and well-being.[...]

     Here is a little peek into the space Caren has entered for continued healing.  This is her bedroom.  It is a space of beauty.  It is a space of comfort.  It is a space created by love and filled with love.  This bedroom has become her sanctuary, her place of safety.  She has a circle to receive visitors and family who want to sit a spell.  Caren has an amazing bed in which to rest and recuperate.  [...]

Yesterday we had a man at our house named "Mike". Mike installed railings for us on both sides of the stairs that go upstairs to our second floor - what a Godsend. He also went and purchased and installed the handles in the upstairs and downstairs shower. He is fixing our screen door Monday.... and helping out with so much. We are trying to find ways to reimburse him in ways he has requested and deserves. My mom is paying him - which in and of itself has been a miracle. We have a lot more that needs done. It bothers me I am not able to go back to work to help pay to get more things fixed that we are in desparate need of have completed....but my trust and hope and belief is that we will be able to reimburse those who have helped us in the past and most recently....and hire for the work that still needs done.

This man.......He is both generous in spirit and an excellent construction worker so if anyone needs something done I would gladly refer him, as he has a family to support as well and could also use the money. His integrity has been amazing and I just want to share what an angel he is. His bids are fair. He is a true gift to the world and I am eternally grateful. Did I mention what a gifted Carpenter he is?

I am hoping we will find a way to be creative enough with our funding to have other important things done around the house and bless this many and others with payment for their help. 

I need to get better to get back to work so I can pay a lot of these things forward. There's a lot I need to do and I continue my new life's journey, but first I must get stronger.

I walked up those stairs last night with just a spotter. I felt so brave because even with my crushing headache and dizziness - I was very brave!!!!

I have to walk 375 steps or more a day to keep from getting the blood thinner shot which prevents clots from me being in a hospital bed a lot of the time. So the day before yesterday, I did 450, and yesterday 400. This is no small attempt and is exhausting to me as I walk in circles of our whole first floor. I was proud of the rails that helped me get upstairs to sit in the wheelchair. 

The pain was bit more to deal with as I tried to keep up on my therapy recommendations and exerted myself a LOT. I even got a shower and was able to get in with my good hand thanks to Mikes hard work - I stood up and held on to both rails in the shower. The first time I have been able to stand in the shower since my wreck. I still needed help bathing, but at least I could stand.....but I think almost all my showers need to be in the downstairs bathroom that has the shower chair, because I am not quite ready for this part of standing .. Maybe upstairs on my stronger better days and downstairs until I get better and stronger - either way - I am still home. 

That means more than anything.[...]

FROM CAREN:

NEVER GIVE UP HOPE....Today is the first day of Spring and the National Day of Happiness. I am laying in a hospital bed looking at all the things and feeling all the things around me. I am Hope.....TODAY IS THAT NEWS....NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!!!!

I want to share one of the most important things in my entire life with all of you today.....please watch this -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88fh-gFstWg[...]

     Caren is home!   

     I have a thought to share, and it totally erased from the board.  This is to be continued, have errands to run. [...]