When you are in the hospital they always ask you how bad your pain is on a scale of 1 – 10.  Apparently there is an 11 on that scale and I found it.[...]

They told me this was supposed to be better.

After Tuesday I kept a low profile and I still wasn’t feeling that great.  Bill brought over a few more pieces of furniture and fun stuff from our house during the week tomake our little apartment feel more like a home.  We got some art hung on the walls and that really helped spruce the place up. [...]

…AKA look for the silver lining.

I have to admit last Tuesday was a rocky day.  From the stroke of midnight, Tuesday decided we were going to be at odds with each other, ALL DAY.  I had been to my first post chemo cancer clinic appointment on Monday and was having a pretty good day aside from being informed that by the end of the month I would no longer have a job.  At clinic they checked my blood work to see how I was handling the first round of chemo and if I was healthy enough to have a port implanted and remove the PICC line. From the results it looked like my numbers were not quite where my doctors wanted them and I would be stuck with the PICC line dangling out of my arm for the next round of chemo.  During my appointment we discussed the upcoming treatment.  My doctor said that because the first round had gone so well I had two options, go with the same chemo drug I did in round one or turn this show up to 11 and clobber my cancer with the heaviest chemo option available.  It wasn’t really a question in my mind, I said “giddy up, let’s do this” and I opted for the most aggressive chemo drugs offered.  I was sent on my way to wait for next Monday and the start of my next round of chemo.  I tried not to think about having lost a job I had put so much of my heart, soul and effort into.  What hurt more, was knowing that I would have to inform my team of smart, hardworking, and dedicated women that they too would be out of job. [...]

During the daily meetings with my doctors, they indicated that they were interested in discharging me from the hospital at some point in the future… (Whaa, one would hope)  Bill had been meeting with the Case Manager who had indicated that there was the possibility I would be discharged into Transitional Rehab. This would be for two weeks leading up to my next round of chemo.  However, the doctors had concerns about that plan.  With the compromised immune system that occurs with chemotherapy they were interested in getting me out of the hospital.   After all, hospitals are where all the sick people hang out and transitional care is no different. [...]

The TV jingle has it all wrong. It actually has nothing to do with a cup of grocery store java.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good cup of coffee, at least I did until the chemotherapy and meds started messing with my taste buds. I had a hearty appreciation for a large cup of French roast coffee, or if in France, a Grand Café Crème enjoyed at an outdoor table of a neighborhood café, overlooking a breathtaking piece of architecture on a bright balmy day….. great,  I mean *really* great but still not the best.[...]

Shannon and I would like to thank everyone who has already stopped by to say hi to us.  It has really helped to pick up our spirits and give us a break from all the fun we are having talking to the doctors about cancer.  I want to let all of our previous visitors know that this post is not directed at them but as we enter a new phase of Shannon's treatment I felt it important to set some ground rules laid as her health is my number one concern.  [...]

.…that is, until I go nuclear.
I’m feeling pretty good having completed my first course of Chemotherapy. Not what one expects to hear I suppose. [...]

After some good tidings and a few well timed visits from dear friends and family, I finally felt I had something positive to cling to Thursday night.  Bill stayed with me as he had the previous two nights.  I scooched over so Bill could climb into bed and we recapped our day together.   Thursday had not been a good day.  It was then we decided to forge good news o four own.[...]

I began Thursday thinking I knew what my diagnosis and plan of attack were. But, in a wait theres more sort of way, we were informed things would change as the results from the second CT and MRI scans were reviewed. It seemed like a revolving door of doctors that day, 2 surgeons, the attending physician, oncology team, palliative care nurse practitioner, dietitian as well as a steady stream of nurses and visitors. Through the window in my door I could see the oncology team huddling like a murder of crows with stethoscopes. The length of time they spent outside my door gave us the impression things were about to change.[...]

After several days of feeling terrible Bill and I trudged to the emergency room about a week ago. Doctors thought that things sounded kind of suspicious so they ordered some tests and a consultation. I had a few painful days in between and then Bill and I had a meeting with a very kind and compassionate RN CPN by the name of Kathleen Barrett at the Health Partners Specialty Center. She felt that something more sinister was going on, and immediately got me in for some additional tests and a CT scan.[...]